Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009, the Year of Opportunities

As a tradition, I am writing my last blog for the year.

2009 was good and had a lot of doors opened.

Career had a spin when I said goodbye to Taguig and got tranfered to the main office.  I had the opportunity to work with the top men and women of the company as I ventured as a Technical Assistant to the Operations Group Director.  My new bosses, Frank and Tom, were a crazy duo but I have learned and have grown a lot from them.  Along with that I am working with the rest of 300+ employees of Operations group.

The batch have remained strong and finished the bond.  The 29 of us has succeeded to finally cross the finish line of the 2-year bond.  Freedom finally came to us last December 11.  And I don't know who will be first out of the doors of Manila Water.  Time would only tell.  However, each of us had build our own lives in the company, busy lives that is that we could no longer have time to even meet up.  Had almost 3 get-togethers for the holidays but the batch never was complete.

2009 was a second chance for me as I succeeded to enter the Environmental Engineering Program of UP.  Finally, I am fulfilling my dreams to take up Masters and in the beloved Alma Mater.  What more can I say.  It was a tough first semester but got through it alive.

There are a lot of trials that has strengthen me.  With Mel getting sick last year, it was tremendously hard to juggle work, school and responsibilities.  But I learned that family will be there, always. And Pa left us last April. And that's it for now.

The house at QC was in renovation at the end of the year.  Aside from that, purchases have been a lot but mostly on air tickets going home and for next year's travels.  Also, I have acquired a Nikon D3000 which is until now has caused me banrkrupt.  But then, I love the camera.

I look forward to the Tiger.  Hope it would be a fierce 2010 for me and the family.  Thanks to all who made 2009 special. :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dorky Dress Up

So far, I got two hits in a row.  I didn't wear my uniform today and had worn my floral brown-orange blouse.  Before leaving the house, I have checked myself in the mirror and thought  that I look ok, more than ever I feel good about myself.…

When I came in today, a very good friend of mine, Jayce commeted on my blouses, calling it 70s because of the floral design.  I just smiled and though it was a compliment.  And just 5 minutes ago a good friend and a senior cadet, Ma'am Salve, asked me if I am a member of Opus Dei.  After I'm telling her that I'm not one of them, she told me, cautiously (asking me not to beangry or offended), that I have to do away from the flowers.  She told me that if I wouldn't want to end up an old maid, I should dress up sophisticatedly.

Ok, I guess I oftentimes dress up in dorky clothes.  But I am comfortable with them.  And I loved these clothes in one point of their useful life.  Or maybe it is how I carry my blouse today.  Maybe I am not as confident or just as carefree in it..But whatever reason I don't look good in them, I am not offended nor angry about the comments because hearing them will only bring out the best in me.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Hodgepodge on the Holidays

One by one, each responsibility is coming into an end.  As the day of coming home is nearing, I am as excited to see each of my tasks finish.  

Class for my Solid Waste Management class ended last night while my old nutty professor for my Engineering Science subject got lazy and declared the whole week without class thus moving everything off scheduled.

Yesterday I was up on my toes running and getting things done because everything was chaos.  With lot of deadlines for school and work, I told a friend that I could not feel Christmas because the load seems to be heavier than ever.

But just today, I am again as eager to go home for Christmas.  Two more pending work and I would be done.  

Today is the last Man Com Meeting for Operations.  A lot of goodbyes have been said to those leaving the company at the end of the year and hellos too as some people will go on board the mini-ship of Operations Group.  Frank as always was very perky and naughty, maybe because of the season or just the fact that he's going back to his family in United Kindgom.  

As for me, I will still be having reunions with friends and colleagues before going home.  And another batch of parties at home awaits me...Looking forward to a great Christmas this year. =)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Chaos turning into Harmony

For the past few days I have been ranting about death and life in its metaphoric meaning.  Not that I am being suicidal or gory, but my rants are just my daily accounts of my frustrations, angst, even joys for the whole week of which my life has been chaotic.  The demands of my two subjects week after week plus the responsibilities with work has been keeping me up and running for the whole entirety until maybe school ends or I quit work (which is not until I am of age 60 or 65).

Finally, exams are over and my hell week is coming to an end. 

Good thing about this is I'm looking forward to a vacation.  I'm going home for the holidays and will be extending about 4 days more since Frank is coming back late too.  I look forward to seeing my family and my friends.  I am excited about celebrating Christmas and New Year and of course a lot of birthdays: Mom's, my friends', and mine!  I long for the planned roadtrip to Antique and the photoshoot sessions with abyans and sisses. I look forward to reunions although I am planning to miss the family reunion and Silak-Silab's too (which is sadly is during my birthday).  And above all, I look forward to the rest just before I would battle it out again... And 1st day of battle is the day I get back to Manila as I have again exams for my advanced engineering math on the very same day.

I'm still taking it a day at a time but when it comes to holidays, vacations and celebrations, my excitement gets me planning. :)

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Live Each Day One at a Time

For the whole week, I die and live one day at a time.  I come to work and go home like a walking zombie, my heart not feeling, my mind not thinking.  As trips to home and back are my only consolation for idleness. Each day has its equivalent deadline for a presentation, a report, a homework or an exam, I am required to go to hell while going about it and back again to live after it is done and is successful.  A so-so output is not an issue nor an option as work is only good or bad and school is only pass or fail.

Sleepless nights, unenjoyable get-togethers (I do not blame it on company, just blaming it on a lot of things in mind), overtime work unpaid, all adds up to the stress that is named work and school.

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm no longer worrying or getting overwhelmed with the load that I'm carrying.  The old me would be on top of my toes getting worried and overwhelmed with the tons then would kick butts even mine to get things done.  I even prepare for things way way ahead of time.  I'm not pushing myself now.  I just do what I got to do.  And I just make sure that I'm doing the best I can.

Tomorrow is the temporary culmination of the many trips to hell and back.  I look forward to the day that everything is back to normal.  But what is normal now?

Tonight, I went home excited knowing that I have an internet connection again.  For 2 weeks, I have been in a dilemma as to whether I would go back to wired connection and have a monthly bill of almost a thousand.  I was contemplating of getting a thumbstick internet but the rates for prepaid is more expensive knowing that I am a frequent internet visitor and I am sharing the same passion with my brother.  A postpaid for a mobile internet is out of the question too.

I live way up in the north.  And it is always a problem for coverage for companies like PLDT and or Bayantel.

I was then convinced to get an internet connection from colleagues at work, and have recommended Globe since   I was using my phone as modem for awhile.  Not that we are Ayala loyalists but then it would be a safer deal because I am sure of a good signal here at home.

So I had applied last Friday, got a call from an agent verifying details so they could forward my application to the service crew.  And early morning, I got a call from the service team inquiring if I am at my place so they could install my internet.  I am in a dilemma because I go to work 8-5pm and my brother has class the whole day as well.  Good thing my cousin is around so she accommodated the service team.

And now, as I write this, I am enjoying a very fast Globe internet connection.  Fast service, good customer service, and uber supreme internet speed.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Clutter Face

I came in late for work today. It is not major unusual because everyday I come to work late, about 5-20 minutes late. But what made me so disappointing today is that I have come in an hour more late than usual. And I missed the mass held at the Manila Water lobby because of my tardiness.

So to avoid being seen, I went around and at the back to get to our floor. But so much of the plan of not being seen, Frank and Tom were at Tom's cubicle which is just diagonally opposite mine. So the two guys saw me in at 9:something AM. And while moving my way towards my cubicle, I know to myself how harrassed looking I am. I could just imagine my hair uncombed and rowdy, my uniform needed a run by the iron, I'm in my house slippers, my shoulders are down and I have that guilty and worrying face. I just could imagine what my bosses are seeing, surely a total big mess.

Both of them came to my table and was worried as well, asking my what happened to me. I said I am ok. Because really, I am ok. I am just plain late. But they don't want to hear of me unless I would tell them somekind of a problem, reason for my cluttering self. But the truth is, I was just as late as can ever be so I kept it to myself than telling a 'lie.'

And even in the afternoon, Frank was pestering me asking me what really happened in the morning. How about a chismoso for a boss.  He calls it concerned though.

So tomorrow, I'll avoid the look or just be plain late.

Pasig River Cruise

Ever since I was assigned to the Taguig for work, I would often see the Pasig River as we go from Taguig to Makati.  On the way to work, I would often pass by the Guadalupe Station of the ferries that cruise along the Pasig River. The Paisg River has been the main thorough fare of Manila .  It is like the EDSA during the colonial era and has played a glorious role in history. But today Pasig River has become a catch basin for all the solid and water waste of the Metro.

To relive the golden days of the Pasig River, Icile and I took the ferry at the Guadalupe and shoot the afternoon away.  The fare is relatively cheap at 45Php for Guadalupe to Escolta Station.  And surprisingly, we didn't smell any stench as we ride along the Pasig River. Not only that you avoid the traffic but you got to see Manila at a different view.

Another boat passing through
Oil Depots along the River Pasig
The Post Office
(Jaime Cardinal) Sin Village
Our Stop: Escolta Station

It is a fantastic experience to see Manila in a new perspective.

Monday, December 07, 2009


Cause of Death:  Drowning

I am super dead.  I am overloaded with deadlines..  And I don't know how I would go about it.  I am so dead.

But why am i blogging?!?!?!  I have to get back to work.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Temporary Solution

Last night, I have the chance to feed my addiction. Got to borrow a Smart Bro thumbstick and was able to surf the night away.  It was not as comfortable as it is with the unlimited internet usage because I was always checking the time and convert my time usage into money -- my expense.  Although the lending officemate tells me it is ok to use up his credits, I still have some decency to limit my usage.  So today, while I am handing him the thumbstick, I hand him also my thank you money.

I have to have a connection.  And I will get a new connection... and pray that we will have it ASAP. Add to that, I will get my money's worth.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Clean but Addicted

My brother and I are having withdrawal syndrome. It is no ordinary addiction although like any other vice, it involves money. For days we are in distress, craving for it, wanting it badly. Yet we are clean and sober.

For 2 whole weeks, we are suffering from internet withdrawal syndrome. After our internet went zilch because of unknown reason, we became desperate walking loons. Been trying to contact all internet offering companies and looking for options that are available and cheap or just plain practical at that. And until now we are still in queue for a slot for a DSL connection. Although I have a connection at the office, it is very limited. The only sites available are work related sites. No facebook (and Farmville), no plurk, no blogs, no multiply, no friendster, no sites that I have been enjoying for years. And all the more that I am craving for it.

Tomorrow, I will shamelessly borrow from a colleague a Smart Thumbstick internet and test if it is working at our domain. With our area that is mountainous and high, I just hope we could get a good signal.

I have to put an end to my distress. Need to give in to my addictions.

Monday, November 30, 2009


I have a lot of studying to do. I have tons of assignments and exams are coming up…yet here I am idling, procrastinating. Had nothing done over the long weekend except for a photowalk, reruns of grey’s anatomy. I did some little studying but haven’t gone through everything really. I really a pain to myself. Would love to do some cramming and kill myself with stress.

I hate this attitude. I need to lose it if I want to survive.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Oblation

The Oblation at UP Diliman

To any alumni of the University of the Philippines in any campus in the country, the Oblation is one symbol, one could get attached or identify himself with the Alma Mater.  The nakedness of the man speaks about symbolic sacrifice to the country and the whole of humanity.  Aside from nationalism and patriotism, it speaks about freedom of expression, a characteristic evident in each campus through fashion, self expression, the arts, etc. and even in protest actions. 
1) The Oblation at UP Visayas Miag-ao Campus 2) The Oblation at UP Visayas Iloilo Campus

A masterpiece of the great sculptor, Guillermo Tolentino, The Oblation was commissioned by the first President of the University of the Philippines, President Rafael Palma.  Palma ordered to translate the second stanza of Jose Rizal's "Mi Ultimo Adios" or "Last Farewell" into a monument which has now become the landmark of any University of the Philippines Campus.
Rizal's "Last Farewell", Second Stanza

*Spanish (original)*

En campos de batalla,
luchando con delirio,
Otros te dan sus vidas,
sin duda, sin pesar,
El sitio nada importa:
cipres, laurel o lirio,
Cadalso o campo abierto,
combate o cruel martirio,
Lo mismo es si lo piden
la patria y el hogar.
- Jose Rizal


In barricades imbattled;
fighting with delirium,
others donate you their lives
without doubts, without gloom,
The site doesn't matter;
cypress, laurel or lily;
gibbet or open field,
combat or cruel martyrdom,
are equal if demanded
by country and home.
- /Translated by Nick Joaquin/ -
The Oblation at UP Los Baños

"The completely nude figure of a young man with outstretched arms and open hands, with tilted head, closed eyes and parted lips murmuring a prayer, with breast forward in the act of offering himself, is my interpretation of that sublime stanza."

Above is the exact word's of Tolentino regarding his masterpiece.  Originally, the figure was purely nude.  The fig leaf or the katakataka leaf was added upon the suggestion of President Jorge Bocobo. Katakataka plants, which grows anywhere with any part of it, symbolizes how deeprooted patriotism should be, similar to our heroes. The height of the statue is 3.5 m representing the 350 years of Spanish reign.

The original oblation is now located in the 3rd Floor of the University Library in UP Diliman.

UP Techno Hub

UP-Ayala Technohub
UP – Ayala Techno Park is the lovechild of the partnership of the University of the Philippines, the country's prestigious state university and Ayala Corporation, one of the biggest business conglomerate..  It is an economic, technology and information zone for related businesses. Located in one of the former idle property of the university, UP-Ayala Technopark is now a house to BPO companies like Convergy's, HSBC and IBM. It is also a spot for students from UP, and nearby campuses like Ateneo and Mirriam, as they unwind for coffee at Starbucks, Figaro and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf or fill their hungry stomachs with food from KFC, Razon's, Seafood Island, Reyes Barbeque, Mr. Kebab, The Old Spaghetti House, Kanin Club, Yellow Cab, Pizza Hut, Flap Jacks, and Le Ching among others.  A branch National Bookstore, Bench Fix Salon, a Mac Store, Timezone and Mini Stop,  is also visible.

It is situated in Barangay UP Campus near Philcoa in Quezon City, along Commonwealth Avenue.
After going around UP, Icile and I decided to hit UP Ayala Technohub to practice more night photography.  Likewise, we decided to fill our hungry stomachs with what they could offer.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Cancellation Blues

I spent the afternoon at UP... now I have sore feet for walking around in heels.

I have to cancel my seminar class because it was intended for those having their thesis. Cancelling it was supposedly easy. I only have to have 3 people's signature before going to the registration's office.

But of the many things that would happen, I get the three copies of the form to be signed in disarray. The two bottom copies were similar to a thermal paper, that if disarrange, the mark will not be seen in the other paper. So after going all through the procedures, it was later realized by the personnel from the graduate office that one of the forms have no 3 signatures. So I would repeat the whole thing going back to the people for their most precious marks. I surely gave myself a hard time. And what was more embarrassing was that I have a classmate with me who has to deal with it too... tsk tsk!!! I surely was a pain today...

But we finished today...and will be working on getting our P1500 refund.

Small World

I bumped into an old friend today. Which was so surprising and turned into an awkward circumstance. Of course, the usual me would play it cool as if it was a natural occurrence. Good thing I was with a classmate who happens to be a friend and ex-colleague of his, at least I am allowed to do small talks..hmmm.. Small world right???

P.S. It's the person who googled his name and found it in my blog.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Finally Gave in

I finally have acquired my new baby!

nikon D3000

And now I declare myself bankrupt.

Handuraw Pizza

After Kat's persistence, I was convinced to check out her new found spot at Katipunan:  the Handuraw Pizza.

For first timers it is hard to find the place since it is not visible from the Katipunan Road.  Surely, its customers have known its existence due to word of mouth and how great their thin crust pizzas are.  The place is shared with XBX Interactive and has only about 6 tables to fill.

XBX interactive as its housemate
Kat and I ordered Mozarella Triangles as appetizers.  It is madeof crust triangles filled with mozarella cheese. Some of it were hallow though.  Also we add in our table a bucket of iced tea which is too sweet so we requested additional water to unsaturate its sweetness.

Mozarella Triangles

If you would think that their food is mediocre based on my previous paragraph, stay for long for their thin crust pizza will surprise you.   To maximize our money, we thought of having two flavors of pizzas in one pan. We had Handuraw Special loaded with pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, bacon, mushroom, olives, onions, green bell peppers, fresh tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese on their homemade tomato sauce and in the other half, we got Meatlovers which is topped with pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, onions, and mozzarella cheese.  It was magnificent at 298Php. Because it is thin crust, you would get to taste the soulful blend of its generous toppings. You will surely be transported to pizza heaven...It was really a superb experience!

2 Pizzas in One Pan: Meatlovers and Handuraw Special

Handuraw could be found at:
XBX Interactive, 2F Burgundy Place, Katipunan Avenue, Loyola Heights, Quezon City
Tel. No. (02) 435-4361.

Their original place is at Cebu with 2 branches:
Gorordo Avenue, Lahug, Cebu City
Tel. No. (032) 232-6401

One Mango, Gen. Maxilom (Mango) Avenue, Cebu City
Tel. No. (032) 416-3200

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Manila Cathedral

Yesterday was my first photoshoot with my NEW Nikon 3000D. I bought my baby from Hidalgo so we thought of proceeding to Intramuros for a test run. From Quiapo, we took a Quiapo-Pier jeep and have ourselves dropped in front of the grand Manila Cathedral.
Manila Cathedral
Just a little history. Manila Cathedral, as it is now, is built upon the remains of its 5 predecessors. The structure was completed in 1951 and its majestique Romanesque stone carvings and rose windows topped with a cupola boast about balance of strength and grace. The four previous constructions were toppled by earthquakes and fires, and the fifth was bombed during the Liberation of Manila in 1945.

Inside Manila Cathedral is La Pieta, the original of which was done by Michaelangelo. Also it houses the Bamboo Organ, and the statue of Our Lady of Immaculate Conception which seats at the altar of the cathedral.  What was so glorious about the statue is that it depicts so much holiness.
La Pieta
La Pieta

Our Lady of Immaculate Conception

The Manila Cathedral has been the seat of the Manila Archbishop since the Spanish colonial era and until today, it serves as the seat of the Archdiocese of Manila.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Miss Goody Two Shoes

No bosses today… What and why in the world am I going to work? Something is really wrong with me… I am a guilt freak… and everytime I escape from work or from my commitments, my conscience is working at top notch. I would often plan out when to go away for a vacation, take a few leaves or even just go absent but just by planning, I am already at guilt. Maybe because I am not always lucky… I could not always get away with it. Or that I always believe that the system works with a carrot and stick. So while others just go skip work (or even school during my forming days), I am one of the very few who would think a thousand times before going as planned and be agonized by guilt because of irresponsiveness. I am even close to a goody two shoes. To prove all these, read through my previous post on how I forego Boracay because of class.

But really, this is the way I am brought up… My mom even knows when I do lie because as she says, I am not a good liar. Not that I prefer doing otherwise but I wish I could do away with the guilt… it stresses Miss Goody Two Shoes a lot.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Bahala na po kayo, Bro

It is nerve-racking… I have never felt at ease as I ever did in this chair for the months that I am sitting here… this is not related to work though.

I have gone to school today to inquire on enrollment. I came back with the news that I am inelligible because of a pending grade for my EnE 213 subjected.

And I am so so afraid… I am desperate to pass… I want to continue with this… I want to have a masters degree… I have forever longed this and I am not in any way willing to just let go everything…

I am just lifting everything even my professor, Sir Jun B., to the person up above… Kayo na po Bro ang bahala.

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Challenge of October

I miss writing. I miss putting my day’s accounts. I miss writing my daily views, feelings, triumphs and cries.

I have been so so so busy. I still am. I have been listing my To Dos in my wall and it seems not to decrease a single bit. I have been juggling school, work and personal problems.

Tough October
October was a tough month. With Ondoy and its aftermath in the first few days, school was put off for the entire week, pushing the school to extend. My prof didn’t adapt though as he squeezed everything to our exhaustion. I have to deal with a take home exam with a 12 hour grace period, final presentation of the laboratory project, Work was also tough with all the reports needing your undivided attention. Almost 7 reports has to be finished and passed on time.

It was also tougher with Mel getting sick. He was running a fever for an entire week after Ondoy. Not that we have been flooded. But he trudged the waist-high waters coming home from school in the height of Ondoy incident. It all started with a bite in his knee, then the fever that has no reason of being there…The fever wasn’t subsiding and so we decided to get some test, blood and urine, but everything was normal. Unitl the 6th night when he was already having chills because of high fever. The following day, he was very weak and wasn’t up to going to school. He was pleading of going to the hospital and get admitted.

So I sent text messages to Frank informing him of my absence and my dilemma. We intended to go to East Ave Medical but on the way while in a cab, we were thinking of how public it was (as the looks of it), we decided to go to New Era General Hospital. Although it was an Iglecia ni Cristo hospital, we were quite relieved that they administered health and welfare services to non-INC. We requested to have some tests, again blood and urine. And after so, we discovered that his platelets are no longer at the normal range. We were advised to get admitted in their hospital.

Funny was, there was no available room for male adults in their Men’s ward. But since Mel was still 18, he is could still be considered minor, a child, so they put him in the pediatrics ward with 3 other boys the oldest I think was 8 years old!

All throughout the day, Mel’s fever seem not to drop… and he had chills so very often. Mama arrived around 7pm after taking a 4pm flight and a very long bus ride. And I was quite proud of my mother for her courage and strength to go through everything alone.

I went home around 9PM since it could only be one guardian to stay with the patient at the hospital.

Mel was released 2 days after and was recommended for home medication and rest.

What was so superb about everything is mama’s composure and strength… She seems to be very calm about Mel’s situation especially when she arrived at the hospital. Although she has been frantic all day texting me for updates, I was sure proud that my mother has come out strong and triumphant like a champion that she is.

Double Celebration
When Mel was released, it was also the end of Rolan’s Board Examinations. He took the Mechanical Board Exams while Mel was in the hospital. We couldn’t tell him of Mel’s situation because it would definitely worry him and would cause trouble for his board exams. So the news came to Manong when we were in search of results of his board exams.

So we were checking the internet from time to time until my brother called excited at the other end of the line. His opening line to my mother, “Ma, may engineer ka pa gid nga isa!!!”

Of course my mother was jumping about the good news… My brother is not the studious type. He is brilliant but lacks the belief that he is. So for a long time during his schooling years, he doesn’t excel and sometimes gets failing marks. But we always believe that when he puts his heart and soul into what ever he does, he will come out victorious.

I love it when my brother told me when I got hold of the phone, “Day may partner ka na!!!” Hehehe! Now I call him Engineer while he returns the title back to me.

to be continued..

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Just One Vote

Aching feet, sore hamstring, tired body. That is what I have after enduring standing in line for almost 10 hours at the COMELEC just for verification. Verification means presenting a proof that you are a resident of a district and they would give you a registration form with a date of your schedule for biometrics. Verification does not gaurantee that I am registered to vote.

The process is indeed pathetic...because a simple registration wouldn't cause as much trouble as I had today (and even for tomorrow) if it wasn't. And it is of no wonder that at this age, and after 4 elections I never got to vote, it is only now that I coached myself to get up and get registered. And it is not me alone, there are a lot of people with problems with their registration or not registered at all.

Is the sacrifice worth it? Is the one vote worth the sore body? Is the one vote really gonna make a difference? Is my one vote add up to the hope of the Philippines? Is my one vote merit the promise we have been in search of?

I hope so. I absofuckingly hope so.

P.S. Sana lang talaga, mahiya at magkakakonsensiya ang mga mananalong pulitiko... Ang laki ng sakripisyo ng mga taong bumuto sa inyo simula pa lang sa pagpaparehistro!!! Gumawa naman sana kayo ng tama!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009


I have been crying the whole day... I don't know if it is the piles of work and the deadlines to meet...and the stress from school because the semester is about to be done, or the rushing of hormones or the lack of it..

Regardless of the reason, there is only one thing... i feel so I am about to reach the crossroads of my career and I don't know what to do...There is something in me that wants to stay... the company have a lot of perks, although small ones... the expansion gives me a lot security that the company will give me more opportunity... the question is, when?

In two months, I am free... I could walk away... I don't have a valid reason for staying...I need to find the reason of being here before I totally get sucked to the system and wouldn't have the guts to do it...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Pains of Saying Goodbye

Goodbye is the hard but letting go is the hardest.

A good friend, Boy is going to the States on Wednesday. She will live out her dreams in the land of Uncle Sam... and hopefully she'll hit the jackpot this time around.

Boy and I were classmates since preschool and were friends for such a long long time…And so today, Frae and I met her at Megamall for a get-together and a despedida. The usual that we do, we ate like there's no tomorrow, watched a movie, we watched Fame(!)... and took pictures of ourselves...

What is unfamiliar about this meet-up is the goodbye. When we were about to go our separate ways, it took us endless hugs ang kisses. Because we never know when we can do it again, our hugs are as tight as we could get our bodies as close to the other...It took us a thousand words to say goodbye and not a single one of it came close to the feeling of longing for the person going away. I was even teary-eyed that Boy is leaving and God knows when she'll be back.

Now I get it why Diane (another kabarkada) will go to the States (every so often) without telling us because goodbyes is always painful. And there is always no easy way of doing it.


Monday, October 05, 2009


There are so many times that I thought of leaving... there are so many times that I am earning the guts to do so... as each day I come near the day of my freedom, I am seeking for reasons to stay... because each day, it gets lesser and lesser. Each day I could no longer justify why I would settle when I feel like I'm just rotting.

I am a licensed Chemical Engineer. I graduated from the premier university. I am tough and I could be my best. But I am not given the opportunity. I may sound proud but yes, I am proud of what I have achieved because I have worked so freaking hard to earn it. Engineering is hard and I have endured it. If I would complain all about it, it will drive me insane because I myself could not understand the stature of it all. The boiling rage in me is leading me to insanity!!! I am angry... and I feel like crap.

I am hungry. I want more, because I deserve more. But I don't want to be cheapened out. So please, give me the freaking thing I deserve.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Internet Sucks

I’m Tired. I’m sleepy. All because of wasting time playing games or surfing through the net. Or plurking useless accounts of my day. I have to get myself straightened out…

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Start of the Day and I’m Pissed

Now I understand it. Vivid. Crystal clear. I get it why they leave. It is not about the work, nor the lack of purpose. It is about working with or should I say against the people in the office.

I have always been saying yes Ma’am and agreed to whatever she deem is correct. Even if, quite often, my mind rebels against it. I respect your experience working with him but also respect my ideas.

And I hate it how oftentimes you were out and I was left to do your work. And if something goes wrong, you blame no one but me.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

If stress can kill, I think I'm the first one to go...

School has become a stress… with Mondays always on holidays we have now schedules for make-up classes. And one subject is really tough, I don’t know if I’m going to survive. Of course I will never give up on it… I have to just give my best, stick to the plan and pray that I would make it through until the end.

And work… hmm… how would I describe it… it is I think a chaotic mess. Reports seem to have the same due dates…old projects needed for submission, and meetings have been on queque as I am an identified person representing Ops as Kasangga. Frank is also volunteering me to join anything and everything. I am not complaining as I was telling him how bored I was while he was away. Yet now, I don’t know.. I am back on my toes, juggling to get things done.

Sleep has become a deprived necessity. With school nearing the end of the semester and the year nearing December, I guess everything shouts for your attention to get things done. I again saw the dawn of the following day when I didn’t sleep just to finish off an assignment which by the way never happened. Until now, at the very moment, I feel sleepy and would later crawl into bed as soon as I finish things.

I have again gone overtime for work.. overtime without pay... I think this is one of the rarest moments in Ops (under Frank) wherein I stay 2 hours over 5pm just to get things done. I am not at all complaining.. relatively this is easy compared to Taguig... Taguig, working OT(TY) beyond 5pm is a natural thing. But that seems so long ago... overtime is not familiar to me anymore... not until today.

Tomorrow is just the 3rd day of the week and I don't know if I could still make it by the weekend, not to mention that I have a make-up class on Friday and a laboratory class on Saturday...Grr...

maybe I should stop complaining.. and start praying.. =)

Monday, September 07, 2009

Damn the Old Writing

What would you do if your old boss found his name in your blog. Although it is pure narrative, I might have inserted a little of opinion, interpretation and a whole lot of imagination into it that would infuse all the embarrassment I am feeling right now! I am planning of crawling into bed for eternity than risk bumping into the old boss or to anyone else from old workplace for the world as they say is small.

Owel. Too late for deleting the old posts. Besides that was me and my naive self 4 years ago. Yeah right!

I'm enjoying plurking.. =)

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

No VIP Treatment

I have just finished lunch. And I can’t wait but to blog about a big great guy who tries to be ordinary to reach out for his people. I’ve seen Rene D Almendras (RDA), our company president at LUA looking over what food is being served at the canteen. Seeing nothing interesting he approached the sandwich stand and while doing so, says hi and “kamusta?” to his people. And he ordered and waited like an ordinary employee. No frills, no VIP treatment, no “I am the president of Manila Water Company.”

When we are about to go out, his sandwich was also done and so we approached the door almost at the same time. Sol and I were eating icecream. He asked, “Where you buy that?” And so we pointed it out to him. Like a kid interested for a cone, he planned of going back inside while asking what other flavors are available. It was quite amazing finding a child in such a big man. And he then got hold of himself mumbling how he needs to diet since he is getting big.

Quite amusing. RDA is tough when it comes to business pushing people to do their best and deliver more that what they committed. But today, after such encounter, leveling himself to his people outside work may make RDA ordinary yet it makes him truly an extraordinary leader.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


Early as now, I want to list my wants for the year (as of to date).

Everyone is invited to be my santa.

I want:

1) DSLR. Nikon D60 maybe or Canon 450D.  I got hold of both and it feels good.

2)  Iphone. I love the features of the iphone.  It is almost complete.  You could  watch videos, listen to music, its a phone of course, go online, and the best is you could read ebook!!!  I love!!!

3.  Plane tickets.  I want to travel so please give me, give me.

4.  A mini-laptop.  My old laptop for 8 years, has gone dead.  So I thought of replacing it... Anyone, be my guest and send me one!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Exam Jitters.

I have never worried on an exam this much since I took the board exams. It is a make it or break it in the program. Graduate school isn’t college anymore. You fail a subject you drop the program, unlike in college that you could just have retake. There is no room for mistakes in the program. Mistakes are for the youth and we are considered people of maturity.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

We are more than him

Weeeh!!! I got to finally see Mama after such a long time. Last seen her Independence Day when I went home.

Mom is here for a seminar courtesy of her office. Good to see and know that she is hanging on despite Papa’s unfathomable actions. She is still wounded and I understand if it would take a long long time for her to heal. But at the very least, I am pleased that she is recuperating. We assure her that it would be ok and that there is more than him…we are more than him.

We love you mom!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Devastatingly Bored

Here I am again whining about work when I have nothing to work on today and everyday. That is the problem really, I am bored with work because I don’t have anything to do. Yes.. talk about being idle for the whole day.

Oftentimes, I would end up pretending that I am doing something at my desk. And that alone drains my spirit each day. I am not used to idleness. And most of all I am not used to pretending. Coming from the BA where everyone is on their toes maximizing time to finish as much work as possible afraid that things would be piling up. Here, work is a monthly thing. You release reports required once a month. And once you are done, idleness will creep and swallow you again.

There is no wonder why previous TAs has moved out. Mai for instance, had her stint in only a year and moved on to Wastewater Department. In one of the many talks Frank and I had, he told me that he is wondering of how I am with work. He is worried that I might get bored and would leave him. He knows that he could never tie us down with the position. He knows that well be leaving. He is just concerned that we leave too soon.

I am bored. I am devastatingly bored. I am complaining. But then I know, this is a blessing in disguise. I need the time to study, I need the time for school. Many often I am doing my homework for design subject or research for our laboratory class. It is only with Frank, who also encourages his people to pursue further studies, that studying and not doing work is “allowed”.

Don’t worry, I am thankful of the life I have with work and would never go back to the life I had at the BA…but let me just use the space to complain. Hehe!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Post Vacation Syndrome.That is I guess the hardest. After going through days of idleness, relaxation, and nothing to think about but things you would enjoy, you would not like to go back to the reality of work, school and stress. After a time of escape, however brief, you would feel like you would want to extend, or even just stay where you are and not go back to the chaos of reality. But a strong will power will overcome and even cure you from PVS until the next attack when you take that ultimate and grand vacation.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Who would have thought that a dark skinned would still get a sunburn?

I could now feel the ache in my brown skin. My labmates (who were also Filipino brown skinned) noticed right away that I have gone to the beach. They love my color!!! Weeehh!!!

But today, my skin feels scorched. I have applied sunscreen for like a gazillion times so that I won't get a burn... a tan is ok but I would forgo with the burn. Yet I have it amidst the Nivea that I almost finished up.

Sunburn is I guess the consequence of having fun in the sun... and it won't have me regret it. =P

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Don't be Fooled by the Airport Cab

We have "deplaned" Cebu Pacific plane in NAIA at around 7:10 AM. Boy and I just had a grand vacation in Cebu and Bohol. We were thinking of taking a cab home but were cautious to avoid the expensive ones: (1) the yellow airport taxi, the flagdown is 70Php and a 4Php as the meter continuous (instead of Php2.50) added to the base fare; (2) and the coupon taxi where there is a ticket with fixed amount written in it which corresponds to how far your destination. Both were off our budget so we trudged the arrival area which, according to 5 security and policemen that we have asked, is where the metered taxis are.

Since Boy and I were of different destinations we took 2 separate taxis. Upon entering my taxi, the driver, after asking my destination, already started with the smooth talk. He said that it has been raining hard in Manila and some streets are so flooded. He then told me that because of that, there would be a hard time driving through the metro. He then dropped the bomb... he will be charging me Php800. I was flabbergasted!!! In my entire 9 years in Manila I have never gone home to our QC home from the airport for Php800. I told the driver "no!" and that he better drop me off asap in a  shaded area (hehehe!!! it was raining!)

In just a few minutes, I got in a new cab and had myself dropped at Magallanes station where I had my MRT ride going to Quezon Ave. Then rode again a jeep to Sandigan. I would have opted to wait for other passengers to occupy the tricycle but I was running late for my laboratory class. I would have just paid Php 8 than pay Php 40 for occupying the whole vehicle. In total I spent only Php123 to get home. I don't need to get home with Php 800 and surely I would not allow myself to get fooled by some taxi driver!!! I just wish I got the plate number of the cab so that I could post it here how much disgust and loath I have for its driver!

Is there such thing as deplaned? A Cebu PAcific crew used the term and by context clues, it meant going down the plane. The word had me and Boy think if there is such a word.

5-Day Mobile Life

I have been wandering for 5 days. And the movement had me realize that I have somewhat an imbalance that has kept me sick when traveling.

I was around the southern part of Manila doing plant visits in our wastewater and water treatment plants in Makati and Taguig. Since Frank is away for a month, one of his requests was to visit as much facilities as possible. He was very particular with our facilities in Jala-jala and Baras in Antipolo which we did two Thursdays ago.

When I went back to the office, I finished off a report needed for United Utilities in UK. I then requested Mang Aster, Frank's driver to send me off at the airport for my most awaited trip to Cebu.

But Cebu was not our ultimate destination. Cebu was only our meet-up point. Joined by my beerkadas Lenny and Boy, we set foot Bohol via a fastcraft in the afternoon of Wednesday.

Bohol was splendid... I will make a separate post for the whole trip.

Then we were back again in Cebu Friday afternoon in preparation to go back to our busy and real life in Manila (as for Len, in Bacolod) the following day (which is today).

And now that I'm back. I have no time to rest. I am really back to reality, I am back to attend my laboratory class to be a day closer in getting my Masters Degree. =)

Sunday, August 16, 2009


Olats... super olats! I have missed going to Boracay to attend to a class with no professor. Even the shadow of our prof was nowhere to be found. Argh!!! I missed bora to be in class because there was a scheduled reporting. I missed bora because I don't want to regret not going to school...

Olats!!! Duper olats. I woke up with the feeling of laziness. Laziness to go to Lumbayag. I just don't feel like going to EK. I just want to spend time with myself...

But all through out the day, we cleaned the house. It is much better now... yet more things to do. Laundry, toilet, the windows, and the garden is all done...clean and sparkling...the rest of the house, will get our hands into it... =)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I need those falling stars for my wishes.

Boohoo for last night’s sky. Clouds were everywhere totally covering the night sky. Damn. I have hoped to catch the meteor show last night but then the clouds won’t even budge and open up.

I looked though National Geographic and according to the site, Perseids meteor shower are the by products of Swift - Tuttle. Also known as the "Tears of St. Lawrence" because the shower roughly occurs on the date of the martyr's death.  Out ancestors thought of it as tears of a martyred man burned because of his beliefs.

Like a child, I often wish on falling stars. My first falling star was during highschool, sun has set but there are still traces of its light. And then a falling star was there in the mid-sky. To my surprise I never got to make my wish.

My most memorable meteor shower was during college. We were at the garden of our dorm in Ilang and were just gazing at the night sky. Some of my sisses at the dorm got out their “banigs” or woven mats and we spent the night under the sky of bursting falling stars at the moon deck of the dormitory.

I was eager for another spectacular meteor shower. I have a lot of dreams to wish for, I need a number of falling stars for them. To my dismay, all I got were clouds. Poor me! I guess I’ll fulfill them on my own with only the divine intervention helping me.

Wishing and fulfilling dreams, it may not matter. The bottom line is, it would have been a great night.

Bora, bye bye.

Today, I feel sick at the gut. If I would reread this entry in the future, I would surely like to kill myself.

My friends from Taguig have planned a trip to Boracay last April. Since we booked early, we have availed of super cheap tickets. And today is the day. My friends have gone to Bora. I was left in my cubicle whining and doing this entry before I start with work.

I could have gone. I could just pack my bags and be at the white beaches of Boracay getting a darker color. But I chose to stay. Not because I luurvvv my work but because of my Saturday classes. And you may think that I am the goody-goody student who wouldn’t want to miss class once in awhile. Don’t get me wrong. I have planned on that. But of all Saturdays that I would be reporting to my laboratory class, it is this Saturday that we have to do an update with our professor. So I better be there than be trapped with inexcusable absences.

I would like to be angsty about how school has destroyed my plans of touring the world but then again, I am at fault since I have gotten my finger back at school. I wanted to get a Masters degree badly then sacrifices has to be made.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Of Vids and Music

Lately, I have been browsing a lot in youtube and been enjoying it...

Good finds were Chris Browns's Forever used as a wedding march.

This was absolutely enjoyable... and I would like to have friends who would get crazy with me in my special day... uhm, girls, game kamo? Wait, I don't have my groom yet..hehehe!!

My brother has discovered 2ne1 and Sandara Park, a Korean who became popular in the Philippines having won 1st runner up in Star Cirlcle Teen Quest was part of the group. 2ne1 is growing fast in the Korean music scene.

Sandara, or better known as Dara in Korea, is the girl in pink pants in the video. It is amusing how she has grown confident after going back to Korea. I guess after going through so much in the Philippines, it has done her good.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Pesto Zest-o!

Pesto sauce is I guess the easiest pasta sauce ever come up… Not to mention that most of its ingredients are affordable and nutritious.

Almost a decade ago, my friend Chloe had ordered Pesto for dinner which we thought of sharing because we have eaten dorm food before we met up with our highschool buddies from Ateneo in one resto in Katipunan. I think that was my first encounter with Pesto and I would never forget how much I disliked its taste… talk about buying something, have a taste, then another and then eventually quit on it. The only thing that kept you on to the second forkful of noodles was the thought that the money you will be paying the bill would be totally put to waste. Chloe and I ended up wasting on food that night.

I have avoided pesto for quite sometime. Not until I have tried living healthy with options of fruits and veggies for food. So when deciding on pasta, the popular choice for trying-to-live-on-veggie people like me would be pesto. I don’t know if taste buds mature but I clicked with pesto. Time and time again, when I feel like eating healthy, pesto was my reliable choice.

But the high and irrational price of pasta and pesto for that matter (and everything else) had me buy a blender. First was just for craving of fruit shakes. But 2 nights ago I thought of dropping by the supermarket and dropped in my basket were ingredients for a pesto sauce.

And today, I brought to work some cooking. I brought pesto pasta topped with extra parmesan cheese. I love the fact that finally, I have done something for craving’s worth. I have fulfilled my stomach as well and the did away with the notion that I don’t know how to cook. Best part of that is, I got to save on lunch. =)

For Pesto Sauce, here's how to make one:

1 cup packed fresh basil leaves
2 tablespoons pine nuts or shelled pistachios
1 large clove garlic, mashed
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
3 to 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

In a blender or food processor fitted with the metal blade, pulse until minced the basil, pine nuts, garlic, and Parmesan cheese. With the motor running, slowly pour the olive oil in a steady stream and process until emulsified. Transfer to a small bowl, cover, and refrigerate, until ready to serve, up to 5 days.

Have a zest with your pesto!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Bring my Respects, President Cory Aquino

Tomorrow is declared a non-working holiday. Nice. More time in bed. Don't get me misunderstood. I entirely salute and acknowledge the woman behind the holiday. Not the person declaring the holiday though.

Tomorrow is the burial of the late President Corazon Aquino. Cory died in the early morning of August 1 of cardiac arrest after suffering from colon cancer. Since her death, a lot of the Filipinos came to the wake, to take a last look, to pay their respect.

I have always believed that Cory Aquino was the passive leader. I can't remember how great her term was as a president. I was very young then. I could just remember the catastrophe in her years of service. There was the Earthquake in Baguio and the Mt. Pinatubo earthquake. The rest, never sank with me because I never got to witness them.
the wake
But the people who have witnessed her term, speaks of her highly. The prayers offered during her fight with cancer were numerous. Peoples of different backgrounds have gone to the streets to see her remains transferred from Greenhills to Manila Cathedral. People have endured rain, stroking heat and long queues to see her for the last time. Yellow ribbon have been attached to buildings, trees, and cars. Confetti has been everywhere. Sympathies are overflowing.

Corazon Aquino was the first woman president of the Philippines and of Asia. From a housewife and widow, her world turned 360 when she responded to the cries of her people to run for presidency and deliver all of them from Marcos' Martial Law. Cory Aquino brought back democracy to the country.

But the greatness of the woman was not right after the fall of the dictator. The greatness of Corazon Aquino started way before when she has acknowledged God as her Father. She lead the country with greath faith in God and great faith in the Filipino people. The late president believed so much on the Philippines.

Tomorrow, a great woman will come to her final rest. Tomorrow we celebrate her life. Tomorrow a woman comes home to her Father and to her one great love, Ninoy. May her soul rest in peace, smiling.
cory aquino

Saturday, August 01, 2009

oh oh August

August is here and I'm excited.

First, work would be, I guess, lessened with Frank going to UK for the whole month. I would miss the old man and his quirkiness but then he also needs the vacation. So with the boss not around, I would be making my own outputs...

And there is the up and coming Cebu-Bohol trip I am planning with my friends for days..I'm afraid that it would be expensive and would shatter my savings account but then I have to see the place and even if summer's over it is not late to hit the beach... and I need this vacation. With school eating up my time, this is my first vacation after I have myself enrolled in grad school.

And mom would be here in the last days of August. She will join a seminar for 3 days here in Manila with some of her officemates. I miss ma. It has been a while since I last seen her.

August will surely be a blast... and I can't wait.

Monday, July 27, 2009


Today is PGMA's 9th and hopefully the last State of the Nation Address. I haven't heard of anything about the event nor the content of her speech as I arrived home and the news on SONA was already done. Today is also Iglesia Ni Cristo Anniversary Celebration. A lot of devotees have gone out to celebrate. All of these amidst the pouring rain.

Classes have been canceled in all levels even in graduate studies. And how I wished we just spent time in class than have nothing to do but go home early.

Yes, I did go home early. After doing some laboratory work in UP. I walked straight to Central to save 7Php. After that, I got stranded as jeepneys and buses going to Fairview (going to Sandigan where the SONA is) is all jampacked... to the extent that 5-6 people are clinging in the jeepney rails, just to get home.

I am, somehow, lucky. There was a Dahlia jeep.. vacant!!! It was pure blessing. I was one of the lucky few to get in and sit comfortably. But come Diliman Prep, the jeep I'm riding come to a slow procession, as heavy traffic consumed us. It was about 8PM when I reached Sandigan.

Phew! Now I'm home.. and I still didn't know what the SONA's about yet I wished it never happened today.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Choosing Work over the Bed. Wrong Choice.

I should have stayed in bed. Never wake up. Sleep for eternity.

I have thought of not reporting to work, just send a “I’m sorry” message and then lay there till my stomach churns for food. It is quite possible. I’ll just pretend to be sick and take advantage of the goodness of the old white man. But thinking of my need for coliform abundant water for our lab project made me do my early morning routine. I was late though, the usual effect of the empty reasons for going to work.

And now as I sit here in my cubicle, with Ma’am Edna absent and Frank unsure if he’s coming in, Im thinking, I should have stayed in bed!!! Right this minute, I’m thinking of how much sleep I have deprived myself in exchange of coming in to work. But at the end of it, I still need to get that damn water, and attend my class at 6PM.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


poster Kat and I met up with Tina to watch Fantasticks last Friday. Amidst the pouring rain and the freezing cold, we travelled the wet C5 to get to Greenbelt 1. If the tickets were not bought, I would catch the play on another day.

Fantasticks is the ployed Romeo and Juliet. Ployed because the fathers of Matt and Luisa, Hucklebee and Bellamy respectively, planned to be enemies in order to spark romance between their children. They have employed El Gallo and staged the kidnap of Luisa, which, in their plan will trigger Matt to rescue the victim. And the parents will make up because of the heroic deed of Matt.

But soon after the mock abduction, the children found out that it was all planned out. Matt felt like they were puppets and so he thought of leaving to prove to his father that he was at all not his toy. Luisa meanwhile was dumbstruck at awed with El Gallo, who later entrapped Luisa to hand in her most valuable piece: her mother’s necklace.

When innocence is lost, wisdom and experience are gained. That is how Fantasticks ended. The world is one of the best but the hardest teachers and it has taught greatly Matt and Luisa as they seek out and discover themselves in the real world.

The second act of the play is such a bore.

Reg: “I got bored.”

Tina: “I am sleepy.”

Kat: “I slept.”

Effects of Further Studies

I have by far got used to it. With school, my gimmick-full week-ends became a saturday spent in the laboratory and a sunday spent on chores if the group wouldn't meet up. Frustrating. I could have been in some cool place seeing and learning a lot of stuff. But I am jammed to be in a poor old laboratory experimenting on coliforms and other envi parameters we are testing on.

Can you hear my whining now?!?! Or it isn't loud enough yet?

And another thing that I have already adjusted my life to is that my vacay has to be on a weekday... yup! not possible with work around. So I'm taking advantage of no work days.. take a little vacation leaves and be the jet-setter that I am.

I'm excited for my next adventure... =)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Learning and Relearning

Today, I learned that punctuation marks make a big deal in a sentence… especially 2 or 3 question marks or exclamation marks in it… I have been using such marks often that I tend to neglect its value. And just less than an hour ago, I was reprimanded by someone to lessen such use of consecutive punctuation marks because it felt offensive. What for me was nothing, is offensive to others. Nothing because that is how I express myself in writing. It feels like that is my gay self taking over. I can’t help but feel bad, because no justifications could support my gay self in a corporate set-up where moral and conduct is tight and upright. I have no intention of upsetting or offensively demean a person. That is just me.

When I was starting, I was never cautious with using words like po or opo. We don’t use such words of respect in our dialect so its roots are not as strong as those who are Tagalog. It is our intonation that dictates our respect and our emotions … Of course, po and opo are taught in my Filipino subject but I don’t speak Filipino back home. We only speak Filipino during class and that was basically it. Even if I have stayed here in Manila for more than 6 years before I started work, the po and opo doesn’t rub in quite easily. With that I was perceive to be disrespectful.

When I was at Taguig, I was heard by my officemates casually talk to my boss in English. Then I heard talks that they regard me as “maarte” to the point that they hate me for it. I have justified it in writing a blog, but never got to defend myself to the people, at the same time, I never got to learn who hated me for such a thing. A total first impression scenario, I don’t know if I have erased such notion or I will be forever maarte to them.

So today, like any other day that I was given the wrong impression, I am sad, depressed perhaps. But I learned my lessons, the hard way.

Friday, July 10, 2009

My debts are catching up on me.

I have acquired a credit card years ago… just yesterday, I received my bill with an annual fee on top of my purchases. It has been two years, two years of plastic purchases. I have no problems really with this plastic. With the low credit limit, I am not afraid to go on debt.

But these past few days, it seems that my debt is not decreasing… it is not that I don’t pay up my dues, but the thing is, I seem to have a lot of purchases these few months…I usually purchase my tickets online with my credit card which was so convenient. But now that travel is less because of school, the plastic just rests in my wallet, unutilized. But despite that, debts build up. And my salary isn’t catching up to say the least… So here I am, full in debt, working my ass to pay them.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

I need to go back to know that it was right to leave.

I need to go back to know that it was right to leave.

Everytime a friend goes home, I am saddened. Not just because I will be missing them but I envy the fact that they are finally home. For some certain reason, I have that burning yearning for home. It is as if, home is my final destination.

The feeling of need for home is as strong as the time when I needed to go out of my nest when I had an opportunity right after highschool. Idealism ruled my entirety. I was made to believe that my big dreams will be fulfilled in a big city, much bigger than what Bacolod could offer me. So I left and did what needs to be done. I don’t know if plans are on track or that dreams are fulfilled but I know that I wouldn’t do it the other way.

But I realized, that executing my big dreams in a big city will only give me a small fulfillment. Because success is not magnified, I would often feel as if, I am just one of those people, normal and insignificant. Not until I would achieve the lifestyle and ways of living my parents have given me with my own resources, I would not, in any way, feel that I have level-up-ed, or the very least, sustain the life I rejected to live in the big city.

Because that is where all this yearning, this need to go home comes from. I miss my life in the small city where everyone seems to be at awe with what you have achieved. Call it egotistical but sometimes you need a boost with morale. Here, I felt small, ordinary, a small fish in a big open sea.

Back home, small fish or not, I know that the sea is not big.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Dreaming, Dreamt and Everything in the Middle

The film has been rolling…the lights are on, a guy and a woman actor is doing their scene waiting for the director to call “Cut!” I was among those PAs, a towel on my left shoulder, a cold mineral water in my right hand and a bag of mixed clothes and make-up in another. I was waiting for Frank to come out and do his lines but he wasn’t there. I heard the director say, “Cut!” I rushed towards the crew’s side of the lounge looking for the producer’s assistant. Two other people came and rushed towards him, while the latter was busy barging orders. I was quite afraid to ask, seeing how busy he was. But I got to know.

“Why is Frank not doing the scene?", I asked.

“Frank who?”


“Frank?! Oh, the white guy! He’s over. And the show’s gonna be finish by next week anyway so we have to cut on the actors.”

And I felt a pull by my right sleeve and I was dragged to reality. It is 10:15 AM. I have been dreaming the second time.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Dropping everything and going.

I’m never that type of person. And I just don’t have the nerve to do that… I don’t exactly fancy the unknown and I completely fear “close your eyes, hold your breath, just jump” scenario. All 25 years, I have planned, ironed out my life. It may not be all the time smooth but so far I have fought and stuck out. It is not all the time that plans are followed and unfold but I am by far, on track. Life may conspire against me but seldom do I fret because often than not, I have a back-up plan, a plan B, or even a C.

25 years of dreams and fulfilling them slowly, step by step. I am not up to just dropping everything.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


First day of class (for me) today... attended my laboratory class... totally fast paced... I need to read a lot of stuff.. know a lot of stuff...and learn them totally...

and funny how other students expect us to know them already since we graduated with a Chem Engg degree... Chem Engg is entirely different from BioChem (Engg) and funny that our professor expects us (me and a guy from Maynilad) to know them since we work at a water and wastewater company...

yikes... frankly and truthfully, I DON'T KNOW THEM... I'm burdened here... =(

Friday, June 19, 2009

A week of tardiness

I have been getting lazy... with waking up, with going out of bed, with getting ready for work, with going to work.... I just seem to have that hang over with my short vacation at home where I have all the morning to sleep and just wake up when I feel like it or when I get hungry.

But I'm back to reality... I need to wake up early and leave the house before 7am to be working at 8. It is not that work is not enjoyable is actually and I am still up to going to work... but getting ready for it, and the pouring rain, and my soaking feet, and having a hard time with getting a ride, and the traffic... it makes me not want to go... just thinking about everything makes all the urge to spend the whole day in bed.

And so instead of leaving the house before 7, it is only at that time that I leave my bed thinking that if I won't, I would lose that hope of getting to work on time or at least just a little bit of being late.

Dreadful... and it has been all that laziness everyday of the entire week. =p