Friday, October 30, 2009

The Challenge of October

I miss writing. I miss putting my day’s accounts. I miss writing my daily views, feelings, triumphs and cries.

I have been so so so busy. I still am. I have been listing my To Dos in my wall and it seems not to decrease a single bit. I have been juggling school, work and personal problems.

Tough October
October was a tough month. With Ondoy and its aftermath in the first few days, school was put off for the entire week, pushing the school to extend. My prof didn’t adapt though as he squeezed everything to our exhaustion. I have to deal with a take home exam with a 12 hour grace period, final presentation of the laboratory project, Work was also tough with all the reports needing your undivided attention. Almost 7 reports has to be finished and passed on time.

It was also tougher with Mel getting sick. He was running a fever for an entire week after Ondoy. Not that we have been flooded. But he trudged the waist-high waters coming home from school in the height of Ondoy incident. It all started with a bite in his knee, then the fever that has no reason of being there…The fever wasn’t subsiding and so we decided to get some test, blood and urine, but everything was normal. Unitl the 6th night when he was already having chills because of high fever. The following day, he was very weak and wasn’t up to going to school. He was pleading of going to the hospital and get admitted.

So I sent text messages to Frank informing him of my absence and my dilemma. We intended to go to East Ave Medical but on the way while in a cab, we were thinking of how public it was (as the looks of it), we decided to go to New Era General Hospital. Although it was an Iglecia ni Cristo hospital, we were quite relieved that they administered health and welfare services to non-INC. We requested to have some tests, again blood and urine. And after so, we discovered that his platelets are no longer at the normal range. We were advised to get admitted in their hospital.

Funny was, there was no available room for male adults in their Men’s ward. But since Mel was still 18, he is could still be considered minor, a child, so they put him in the pediatrics ward with 3 other boys the oldest I think was 8 years old!

All throughout the day, Mel’s fever seem not to drop… and he had chills so very often. Mama arrived around 7pm after taking a 4pm flight and a very long bus ride. And I was quite proud of my mother for her courage and strength to go through everything alone.

I went home around 9PM since it could only be one guardian to stay with the patient at the hospital.

Mel was released 2 days after and was recommended for home medication and rest.

What was so superb about everything is mama’s composure and strength… She seems to be very calm about Mel’s situation especially when she arrived at the hospital. Although she has been frantic all day texting me for updates, I was sure proud that my mother has come out strong and triumphant like a champion that she is.

Double Celebration
When Mel was released, it was also the end of Rolan’s Board Examinations. He took the Mechanical Board Exams while Mel was in the hospital. We couldn’t tell him of Mel’s situation because it would definitely worry him and would cause trouble for his board exams. So the news came to Manong when we were in search of results of his board exams.

So we were checking the internet from time to time until my brother called excited at the other end of the line. His opening line to my mother, “Ma, may engineer ka pa gid nga isa!!!”

Of course my mother was jumping about the good news… My brother is not the studious type. He is brilliant but lacks the belief that he is. So for a long time during his schooling years, he doesn’t excel and sometimes gets failing marks. But we always believe that when he puts his heart and soul into what ever he does, he will come out victorious.

I love it when my brother told me when I got hold of the phone, “Day may partner ka na!!!” Hehehe! Now I call him Engineer while he returns the title back to me.

to be continued..

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Just One Vote

Aching feet, sore hamstring, tired body. That is what I have after enduring standing in line for almost 10 hours at the COMELEC just for verification. Verification means presenting a proof that you are a resident of a district and they would give you a registration form with a date of your schedule for biometrics. Verification does not gaurantee that I am registered to vote.

The process is indeed pathetic...because a simple registration wouldn't cause as much trouble as I had today (and even for tomorrow) if it wasn't. And it is of no wonder that at this age, and after 4 elections I never got to vote, it is only now that I coached myself to get up and get registered. And it is not me alone, there are a lot of people with problems with their registration or not registered at all.

Is the sacrifice worth it? Is the one vote worth the sore body? Is the one vote really gonna make a difference? Is my one vote add up to the hope of the Philippines? Is my one vote merit the promise we have been in search of?

I hope so. I absofuckingly hope so.

P.S. Sana lang talaga, mahiya at magkakakonsensiya ang mga mananalong pulitiko... Ang laki ng sakripisyo ng mga taong bumuto sa inyo simula pa lang sa pagpaparehistro!!! Gumawa naman sana kayo ng tama!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009


I have been crying the whole day... I don't know if it is the piles of work and the deadlines to meet...and the stress from school because the semester is about to be done, or the rushing of hormones or the lack of it..

Regardless of the reason, there is only one thing... i feel so I am about to reach the crossroads of my career and I don't know what to do...There is something in me that wants to stay... the company have a lot of perks, although small ones... the expansion gives me a lot security that the company will give me more opportunity... the question is, when?

In two months, I am free... I could walk away... I don't have a valid reason for staying...I need to find the reason of being here before I totally get sucked to the system and wouldn't have the guts to do it...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Pains of Saying Goodbye

Goodbye is the hard but letting go is the hardest.

A good friend, Boy is going to the States on Wednesday. She will live out her dreams in the land of Uncle Sam... and hopefully she'll hit the jackpot this time around.

Boy and I were classmates since preschool and were friends for such a long long time…And so today, Frae and I met her at Megamall for a get-together and a despedida. The usual that we do, we ate like there's no tomorrow, watched a movie, we watched Fame(!)... and took pictures of ourselves...

What is unfamiliar about this meet-up is the goodbye. When we were about to go our separate ways, it took us endless hugs ang kisses. Because we never know when we can do it again, our hugs are as tight as we could get our bodies as close to the other...It took us a thousand words to say goodbye and not a single one of it came close to the feeling of longing for the person going away. I was even teary-eyed that Boy is leaving and God knows when she'll be back.

Now I get it why Diane (another kabarkada) will go to the States (every so often) without telling us because goodbyes is always painful. And there is always no easy way of doing it.


Monday, October 05, 2009


There are so many times that I thought of leaving... there are so many times that I am earning the guts to do so... as each day I come near the day of my freedom, I am seeking for reasons to stay... because each day, it gets lesser and lesser. Each day I could no longer justify why I would settle when I feel like I'm just rotting.

I am a licensed Chemical Engineer. I graduated from the premier university. I am tough and I could be my best. But I am not given the opportunity. I may sound proud but yes, I am proud of what I have achieved because I have worked so freaking hard to earn it. Engineering is hard and I have endured it. If I would complain all about it, it will drive me insane because I myself could not understand the stature of it all. The boiling rage in me is leading me to insanity!!! I am angry... and I feel like crap.

I am hungry. I want more, because I deserve more. But I don't want to be cheapened out. So please, give me the freaking thing I deserve.