The Challenge of October

I miss writing. I miss putting my day’s accounts. I miss writing my daily views, feelings, triumphs and cries.

I have been so so so busy. I still am. I have been listing my To Dos in my wall and it seems not to decrease a single bit. I have been juggling school, work and personal problems.

Tough October
October was a tough month. With Ondoy and its aftermath in the first few days, school was put off for the entire week, pushing the school to extend. My prof didn’t adapt though as he squeezed everything to our exhaustion. I have to deal with a take home exam with a 12 hour grace period, final presentation of the laboratory project, Work was also tough with all the reports needing your undivided attention. Almost 7 reports has to be finished and passed on time.

It was also tougher with Mel getting sick. He was running a fever for an entire week after Ondoy. Not that we have been flooded. But he trudged the waist-high waters coming home from school in the height of Ondoy incident. It all started with a bite in his knee, then the fever that has no reason of being there…The fever wasn’t subsiding and so we decided to get some test, blood and urine, but everything was normal. Unitl the 6th night when he was already having chills because of high fever. The following day, he was very weak and wasn’t up to going to school. He was pleading of going to the hospital and get admitted.

So I sent text messages to Frank informing him of my absence and my dilemma. We intended to go to East Ave Medical but on the way while in a cab, we were thinking of how public it was (as the looks of it), we decided to go to New Era General Hospital. Although it was an Iglecia ni Cristo hospital, we were quite relieved that they administered health and welfare services to non-INC. We requested to have some tests, again blood and urine. And after so, we discovered that his platelets are no longer at the normal range. We were advised to get admitted in their hospital.

Funny was, there was no available room for male adults in their Men’s ward. But since Mel was still 18, he is could still be considered minor, a child, so they put him in the pediatrics ward with 3 other boys the oldest I think was 8 years old!

All throughout the day, Mel’s fever seem not to drop… and he had chills so very often. Mama arrived around 7pm after taking a 4pm flight and a very long bus ride. And I was quite proud of my mother for her courage and strength to go through everything alone.

I went home around 9PM since it could only be one guardian to stay with the patient at the hospital.

Mel was released 2 days after and was recommended for home medication and rest.

What was so superb about everything is mama’s composure and strength… She seems to be very calm about Mel’s situation especially when she arrived at the hospital. Although she has been frantic all day texting me for updates, I was sure proud that my mother has come out strong and triumphant like a champion that she is.

Double Celebration
When Mel was released, it was also the end of Rolan’s Board Examinations. He took the Mechanical Board Exams while Mel was in the hospital. We couldn’t tell him of Mel’s situation because it would definitely worry him and would cause trouble for his board exams. So the news came to Manong when we were in search of results of his board exams.

So we were checking the internet from time to time until my brother called excited at the other end of the line. His opening line to my mother, “Ma, may engineer ka pa gid nga isa!!!”

Of course my mother was jumping about the good news… My brother is not the studious type. He is brilliant but lacks the belief that he is. So for a long time during his schooling years, he doesn’t excel and sometimes gets failing marks. But we always believe that when he puts his heart and soul into what ever he does, he will come out victorious.

I love it when my brother told me when I got hold of the phone, “Day may partner ka na!!!” Hehehe! Now I call him Engineer while he returns the title back to me.

to be continued..

Just One Vote

Aching feet, sore hamstring, tired body. That is what I have after enduring standing in line for almost 10 hours at the COMELEC just for verification. Verification means presenting a proof that you are a resident of a district and they would give you a registration form with a date of your schedule for biometrics. Verification does not gaurantee that I am registered to vote.

The process is indeed pathetic...because a simple registration wouldn't cause as much trouble as I had today (and even for tomorrow) if it wasn't. And it is of no wonder that at this age, and after 4 elections I never got to vote, it is only now that I coached myself to get up and get registered. And it is not me alone, there are a lot of people with problems with their registration or not registered at all.

Is the sacrifice worth it? Is the one vote worth the sore body? Is the one vote really gonna make a difference? Is my one vote add up to the hope of the Philippines? Is my one vote merit the promise we have been in search of?

I hope so. I absofuckingly hope so.

P.S. Sana lang talaga, mahiya at magkakakonsensiya ang mga mananalong pulitiko... Ang laki ng sakripisyo ng mga taong bumuto sa inyo simula pa lang sa pagpaparehistro!!! Gumawa naman sana kayo ng tama!!!

Crossroads

I have been crying the whole day... I don't know if it is the piles of work and the deadlines to meet...and the stress from school because the semester is about to be done, or the rushing of hormones or the lack of it..

Regardless of the reason, there is only one thing... i feel so lost...here I am about to reach the crossroads of my career and I don't know what to do...There is something in me that wants to stay... the company have a lot of perks, although small ones... the expansion gives me a lot security that the company will give me more opportunity... the question is, when?

In two months, I am free... I could walk away... I don't have a valid reason for staying...I need to find the reason of being here before I totally get sucked to the system and wouldn't have the guts to do it...

The Pains of Saying Goodbye

Goodbye is the hard but letting go is the hardest.

A good friend, Boy is going to the States on Wednesday. She will live out her dreams in the land of Uncle Sam... and hopefully she'll hit the jackpot this time around.

Boy and I were classmates since preschool and were friends for such a long long time…And so today, Frae and I met her at Megamall for a get-together and a despedida. The usual that we do, we ate like there's no tomorrow, watched a movie, we watched Fame(!)... and took pictures of ourselves...

What is unfamiliar about this meet-up is the goodbye. When we were about to go our separate ways, it took us endless hugs ang kisses. Because we never know when we can do it again, our hugs are as tight as we could get our bodies as close to the other...It took us a thousand words to say goodbye and not a single one of it came close to the feeling of longing for the person going away. I was even teary-eyed that Boy is leaving and God knows when she'll be back.

Now I get it why Diane (another kabarkada) will go to the States (every so often) without telling us because goodbyes is always painful. And there is always no easy way of doing it.

Crap

There are so many times that I thought of leaving... there are so many times that I am earning the guts to do so... as each day I come near the day of my freedom, I am seeking for reasons to stay... because each day, it gets lesser and lesser. Each day I could no longer justify why I would settle when I feel like I'm just rotting.

I am a licensed Chemical Engineer. I graduated from the premier university. I am tough and I could be my best. But I am not given the opportunity. I may sound proud but yes, I am proud of what I have achieved because I have worked so freaking hard to earn it. Engineering is hard and I have endured it. If I would complain all about it, it will drive me insane because I myself could not understand the stature of it all. The boiling rage in me is leading me to insanity!!! I am angry... and I feel like crap.

I am hungry. I want more, because I deserve more. But I don't want to be cheapened out. So please, give me the freaking thing I deserve.

Internet Sucks

I’m Tired. I’m sleepy. All because of wasting time playing games or surfing through the net. Or plurking useless accounts of my day. I have to get myself straightened out…

Start of the Day and I’m Pissed

Now I understand it. Vivid. Crystal clear. I get it why they leave. It is not about the work, nor the lack of purpose. It is about working with or should I say against the people in the office.

I have always been saying yes Ma’am and agreed to whatever she deem is correct. Even if, quite often, my mind rebels against it. I respect your experience working with him but also respect my ideas.

And I hate it how oftentimes you were out and I was left to do your work. And if something goes wrong, you blame no one but me.

If stress can kill, I think I'm the first one to go...

School has become a stress… with Mondays always on holidays we have now schedules for make-up classes. And one subject is really tough, I don’t know if I’m going to survive. Of course I will never give up on it… I have to just give my best, stick to the plan and pray that I would make it through until the end.

And work… hmm… how would I describe it… it is I think a chaotic mess. Reports seem to have the same due dates…old projects needed for submission, and meetings have been on queque as I am an identified person representing Ops as Kasangga. Frank is also volunteering me to join anything and everything. I am not complaining as I was telling him how bored I was while he was away. Yet now, I don’t know.. I am back on my toes, juggling to get things done.

Sleep has become a deprived necessity. With school nearing the end of the semester and the year nearing December, I guess everything shouts for your attention to get things done. I again saw the dawn of the following day when I didn’t sleep just to finish off an assignment which by the way never happened. Until now, at the very moment, I feel sleepy and would later crawl into bed as soon as I finish things.

I have again gone overtime for work.. overtime without pay... I think this is one of the rarest moments in Ops (under Frank) wherein I stay 2 hours over 5pm just to get things done. I am not at all complaining.. relatively this is easy compared to Taguig... Taguig, working OT(TY) beyond 5pm is a natural thing. But that seems so long ago... overtime is not familiar to me anymore... not until today.

Tomorrow is just the 3rd day of the week and I don't know if I could still make it by the weekend, not to mention that I have a make-up class on Friday and a laboratory class on Saturday...Grr...

maybe I should stop complaining.. and start praying.. =)

Damn the Old Writing

What would you do if your old boss found his name in your blog. Although it is pure narrative, I might have inserted a little of opinion, interpretation and a whole lot of imagination into it that would infuse all the embarrassment I am feeling right now! I am planning of crawling into bed for eternity than risk bumping into the old boss or to anyone else from old workplace for the world as they say is small.

Owel. Too late for deleting the old posts. Besides that was me and my naive self 4 years ago. Yeah right!

-0-
I'm enjoying plurking.. =)

No VIP Treatment

I have just finished lunch. And I can’t wait but to blog about a big great guy who tries to be ordinary to reach out for his people. I’ve seen Rene D Almendras (RDA), our company president at LUA looking over what food is being served at the canteen. Seeing nothing interesting he approached the sandwich stand and while doing so, says hi and “kamusta?” to his people. And he ordered and waited like an ordinary employee. No frills, no VIP treatment, no “I am the president of Manila Water Company.”

When we are about to go out, his sandwich was also done and so we approached the door almost at the same time. Sol and I were eating icecream. He asked, “Where you buy that?” And so we pointed it out to him. Like a kid interested for a cone, he planned of going back inside while asking what other flavors are available. It was quite amazing finding a child in such a big man. And he then got hold of himself mumbling how he needs to diet since he is getting big.

Quite amusing. RDA is tough when it comes to business pushing people to do their best and deliver more that what they committed. But today, after such encounter, leveling himself to his people outside work may make RDA ordinary yet it makes him truly an extraordinary leader.

Wishlist

Early as now, I want to list my wants for the year (as of to date).

Everyone is invited to be my santa.

I want:

1) DSLR. Nikon D60 maybe or Canon 450D.  I got hold of both and it feels good.

2)  Iphone. I love the features of the iphone.  It is almost complete.  You could  watch videos, listen to music, its a phone of course, go online, and the best is you could read ebook!!!  I love!!!

3.  Plane tickets.  I want to travel so please give me, give me.

4.  A mini-laptop.  My old laptop for 8 years, has gone dead.  So I thought of replacing it... Anyone, be my guest and send me one!

Exam Jitters.

I have never worried on an exam this much since I took the board exams. It is a make it or break it in the program. Graduate school isn’t college anymore. You fail a subject you drop the program, unlike in college that you could just have retake. There is no room for mistakes in the program. Mistakes are for the youth and we are considered people of maturity.

We are more than him

Weeeh!!! I got to finally see Mama after such a long time. Last seen her Independence Day when I went home.

Mom is here for a seminar courtesy of her office. Good to see and know that she is hanging on despite Papa’s unfathomable actions. She is still wounded and I understand if it would take a long long time for her to heal. But at the very least, I am pleased that she is recuperating. We assure her that it would be ok and that there is more than him…we are more than him.

We love you mom!

Devastatingly Bored

Here I am again whining about work when I have nothing to work on today and everyday. That is the problem really, I am bored with work because I don’t have anything to do. Yes.. talk about being idle for the whole day.

Oftentimes, I would end up pretending that I am doing something at my desk. And that alone drains my spirit each day. I am not used to idleness. And most of all I am not used to pretending. Coming from the BA where everyone is on their toes maximizing time to finish as much work as possible afraid that things would be piling up. Here, work is a monthly thing. You release reports required once a month. And once you are done, idleness will creep and swallow you again.

There is no wonder why previous TAs has moved out. Mai for instance, had her stint in only a year and moved on to Wastewater Department. In one of the many talks Frank and I had, he told me that he is wondering of how I am with work. He is worried that I might get bored and would leave him. He knows that he could never tie us down with the position. He knows that well be leaving. He is just concerned that we leave too soon.

I am bored. I am devastatingly bored. I am complaining. But then I know, this is a blessing in disguise. I need the time to study, I need the time for school. Many often I am doing my homework for design subject or research for our laboratory class. It is only with Frank, who also encourages his people to pursue further studies, that studying and not doing work is “allowed”.

Don’t worry, I am thankful of the life I have with work and would never go back to the life I had at the BA…but let me just use the space to complain. Hehe!

PVS

Post Vacation Syndrome.That is I guess the hardest. After going through days of idleness, relaxation, and nothing to think about but things you would enjoy, you would not like to go back to the reality of work, school and stress. After a time of escape, however brief, you would feel like you would want to extend, or even just stay where you are and not go back to the chaos of reality. But a strong will power will overcome and even cure you from PVS until the next attack when you take that ultimate and grand vacation.

Scorched

Who would have thought that a dark skinned would still get a sunburn?

I could now feel the ache in my brown skin. My labmates (who were also Filipino brown skinned) noticed right away that I have gone to the beach. They love my color!!! Weeehh!!!

But today, my skin feels scorched. I have applied sunscreen for like a gazillion times so that I won't get a burn... a tan is ok but I would forgo with the burn. Yet I have it amidst the Nivea that I almost finished up.

Sunburn is I guess the consequence of having fun in the sun... and it won't have me regret it. =P

Don't be Fooled by the Airport Cab

We have "deplaned" Cebu Pacific plane in NAIA at around 7:10 AM. Boy and I just had a grand vacation in Cebu and Bohol. We were thinking of taking a cab home but were cautious to avoid the expensive ones: (1) the yellow airport taxi, the flagdown is 70Php and a 4Php as the meter continuous (instead of Php2.50) added to the base fare; (2) and the coupon taxi where there is a ticket with fixed amount written in it which corresponds to how far your destination. Both were off our budget so we trudged the arrival area which, according to 5 security and policemen that we have asked, is where the metered taxis are.

Since Boy and I were of different destinations we took 2 separate taxis. Upon entering my taxi, the driver, after asking my destination, already started with the smooth talk. He said that it has been raining hard in Manila and some streets are so flooded. He then told me that because of that, there would be a hard time driving through the metro. He then dropped the bomb... he will be charging me Php800. I was flabbergasted!!! In my entire 9 years in Manila I have never gone home to our QC home from the airport for Php800. I told the driver "no!" and that he better drop me off asap in a  shaded area (hehehe!!! it was raining!)

In just a few minutes, I got in a new cab and had myself dropped at Magallanes station where I had my MRT ride going to Quezon Ave. Then rode again a jeep to Sandigan. I would have opted to wait for other passengers to occupy the tricycle but I was running late for my laboratory class. I would have just paid Php 8 than pay Php 40 for occupying the whole vehicle. In total I spent only Php123 to get home. I don't need to get home with Php 800 and surely I would not allow myself to get fooled by some taxi driver!!! I just wish I got the plate number of the cab so that I could post it here how much disgust and loath I have for its driver!

-o0o-
P.S.
Is there such thing as deplaned? A Cebu PAcific crew used the term and by context clues, it meant going down the plane. The word had me and Boy think if there is such a word.

5-Day Mobile Life

I have been wandering for 5 days. And the movement had me realize that I have somewhat an imbalance that has kept me sick when traveling.

I was around the southern part of Manila doing plant visits in our wastewater and water treatment plants in Makati and Taguig. Since Frank is away for a month, one of his requests was to visit as much facilities as possible. He was very particular with our facilities in Jala-jala and Baras in Antipolo which we did two Thursdays ago.

When I went back to the office, I finished off a report needed for United Utilities in UK. I then requested Mang Aster, Frank's driver to send me off at the airport for my most awaited trip to Cebu.

But Cebu was not our ultimate destination. Cebu was only our meet-up point. Joined by my beerkadas Lenny and Boy, we set foot Bohol via a fastcraft in the afternoon of Wednesday.

Bohol was splendid... I will make a separate post for the whole trip.

Then we were back again in Cebu Friday afternoon in preparation to go back to our busy and real life in Manila (as for Len, in Bacolod) the following day (which is today).

And now that I'm back. I have no time to rest. I am really back to reality, I am back to attend my laboratory class to be a day closer in getting my Masters Degree. =)

Olats

Olats... super olats! I have missed going to Boracay to attend to a class with no professor. Even the shadow of our prof was nowhere to be found. Argh!!! I missed bora to be in class because there was a scheduled reporting. I missed bora because I don't want to regret not going to school...

Olats!!! Duper olats. I woke up with the feeling of laziness. Laziness to go to Lumbayag. I just don't feel like going to EK. I just want to spend time with myself...

But all through out the day, we cleaned the house. It is much better now... yet more things to do. Laundry, toilet, the windows, and the garden is all done...clean and sparkling...the rest of the house, will get our hands into it... =)

I need those falling stars for my wishes.

Boohoo for last night’s sky. Clouds were everywhere totally covering the night sky. Damn. I have hoped to catch the meteor show last night but then the clouds won’t even budge and open up.

I looked though National Geographic and according to the site, Perseids meteor shower are the by products of Swift - Tuttle. Also known as the "Tears of St. Lawrence" because the shower roughly occurs on the date of the martyr's death.  Out ancestors thought of it as tears of a martyred man burned because of his beliefs.

Like a child, I often wish on falling stars. My first falling star was during highschool, sun has set but there are still traces of its light. And then a falling star was there in the mid-sky. To my surprise I never got to make my wish.

My most memorable meteor shower was during college. We were at the garden of our dorm in Ilang and were just gazing at the night sky. Some of my sisses at the dorm got out their “banigs” or woven mats and we spent the night under the sky of bursting falling stars at the moon deck of the dormitory.

I was eager for another spectacular meteor shower. I have a lot of dreams to wish for, I need a number of falling stars for them. To my dismay, all I got were clouds. Poor me! I guess I’ll fulfill them on my own with only the divine intervention helping me.

Wishing and fulfilling dreams, it may not matter. The bottom line is, it would have been a great night.