Thursday, March 08, 2012

When Bumming and Desperation Mix...

It has been a month and 5 days since I left work.  I'm officially bumming around for the same equivalent number of days.  For the first few weeks, I felt I was just on vacation.  And then I was back on my feet trying to finish some requirements for a scholarship in school and a board exam I'm trying to get my ass into taking even if I'm not sure I am qualified.  I just applied and let's see come June.

And then I flew here in Singapore to look for work.  And it has been 12 days of looking for an engineering job, applying to companies online, searching for vacancies in the classified ads and attending walk-in interviews and job fairs.  I feel tired and somewhat desperate.  I'm nearing two weeks yet I have not heard anything from the Immigration regarding my Long-Term Visa pass (allowing me to stay here for 3-12 months), giving me ample time to get a job.  So are the companies whom I have sent my resume to, they just gave me their silence.

When you have nothing to do day by day but waiting, it gets to you.  I get bored for awhile.  I entertain myself with helping out with the chores or do some errands but that becomes boring too that you feel  desperation. I cried yesterday because I feel helpless.  I just hope not to cross the border of insanity.

I'm not really afraid of not finding work because I could always return to the family and help out with the business but at the back of my mind, I don't want to feel defeated.  That I gave up right away..but then again..when should I say that it is enough and maybe its not for me?

I know 12 days is too early to say I quit.  I am not at that point yet.  We are left to wait.

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