Tears for Home

I have had seen old people cry.  When my lolo died, Lola cried a river of tears as well as his sons and daughters.  Likewise, family members cried when my Lola died.  I have seen old people cry in the movies, tv series because of grief, sadness and all that but is a different story altogether.. 

But seeing Frank get teary eyed and cry, I can't stand it.  Because those tears, I could not name except for longingness for home.  He has long been gone from UK and for sure, it has been awhile that he felt estranged. I may be Filipino and belonged to the Philippines but there is that distinct longiness for Bacolod alone which I don't feel in Manila.  And I know Frank felt the same way especially with language barriers, lesser familiar faces and family not always around.  He has been back and forth to UK but that will never be enough.

Missing home

-o-

Last Thursday, Frank invited Sheena and I to watch the Desford Colliery Band at Brittish School Manila.  It was my first time to see a brass band and to hear it for that matter so I was quite excited and very willing when Frank invited me. 

When we arrived at Brittish School Manila, I felt very foreign.  Ironic because I am still in the Philippines and still in Manila but for a place such as BSM where it all seems like everyone is either white, black or some other asian national, I felt alien.  Frank felt like he's home with all the British folks sorrounding him.

Frank, at home.

So after grabbing some drinks (beer and wine?!?!) and our reserved tickets, we went around BSM looking through the artworks and activities of students. 

 
Looking through artworks of students

I am very pleased to see this building, the Rizal building to be in the heart of the BSM!!! Yeay!!

 

Rizal Building

So when the gates open, we were the first to get in for I need good seats for a good photo opportunity and there's little of them because most front seats are reserved for sponsors. 

Hot Seat for the Night

While members of Desford Brass Band were setting up, I approached the stage to take some pictures.  And I took this photo of a man and his brass instrument as he approached me.  And being a very engaging and friendly people these British folks are, this guy started conversation with me:

Guy:  You're here taking photos for somebody?

Me:  Uhm, no.  Just storing for my own consumption.

Guy:  Let me see… (moving towards looking through my camera which I willingly let him see his photo)

Me:  I'm not even good.

Guy:  Nah…Could you load it up at Facebook and I'm gonna grab it from there?

Members of Desford Colliery Brassband

Then his buddies went to the stage for their picture taken. Which I took along one of the members.  Then Frank approached us and urged me to join them taking my camera away.  The usual me, I would easily go and have my picture taken with celebs or any monumental structure, so I stood beside the guys…Then seeing Sheena, I signaled Frank to join me with them. And this, I think started all my disaster for the night.

He was hitting on me!! He was asking if where would I take him after the concert or where we would be after the concert so that he will go there as well.  It was a mixture of thrill and embarrassmest so I was respectfully declining while Frank was pushing me to go out since I am available and all that.  I was laughing it out while the two Brits are talking and so I slowly went to the instruments to take pictures and when I got back to my seat, I saw Frank whispering to Sheena as if they are conspiring against me….grrr!!!!  And Frank said, "You know what he said about you? He said, "She's bloody beautiful! And he gave me this, he said to look you up at Facebook and send him his pictures."  He was handing me Frank's calling card with a name Martin Whybrow written at the back.  I was just rolling my eyes at Frank but the typical girl like me was all flattered.  Hahaha!

Sheena and Frank, conspiring

So all throughout the concert, Frank and Sheena were teasing me towards the tuba player especially when he looks towards our directions which was a thousand times that night.

Desford Colliery Band

So who is this Desford Brassband? I'm not really sure about them as I am a newbie with brass bands and it was only Frank who introduced us to such and that each town or city has their own Brassband and there are competitions among cities.  Of course Frank was biased and saying that the brass band from his town is the best.

After doing a little research this is what I have found.

Founded in 1898, The Desford Colliery Band comprises of twenty-five brass musicians with percussion and performs a repertoire spanning Baroque to Jazz, with fine soloists as well.

The name in itself has a rich history.  After the Second World War, the band was assisted by the Coal Industry Social Welfare Organisation. Also at that time, most of the musicians were miners, and thus the band was renamed the Desford Colliery Band.

Today, the band has more than 30 championship titles to back its name.  Desford has achieved great popularity and success as an ambassador for British Culture and heritage abroad. With a CDs gaining popularity and a TV show, 'The Real Brassed Off' the Desford Colliery Band is a brassband envied by many.
 

Desford Colliery Band

The Desford Organisation is commited to a policy that states that future generations should have access to playing brass band music. To implement this policy, the Desford Academy was set up to promote brass playing to the younger generation.

-o-

The band played two sets and it was only the first set that the old man started teary eyed. I was teasing him about it at first and all the more that his eyes well up.  But at the end of the first set when I got up to go to the toilet, Sheena followed me telling me she can't stand when somebody is crying.  Oh no!! Frank cried when his Indian friends at BSM asked him if he is ok and then tears just fell like a dam broke.

magnificent play

I think the songs are really familiar to Frank, include in that the history of the song, it made him think and long for home.  After sorting himself, he went out to the crowd and was back to the jolly man approaching and talking to people mostly from the band.

Sheena and I were in a total hunger.  And I was afraid that the beer would get to me fast because of the empty stomach.  IT was my second beer during the break. So I decided to buy some ensaymada to just fill me but goodness, it was not a good pair!!!  And there was this Brit who even commented on why I have bread and beer which I have to explain why such a sight.

The next set was a bit familiar just because of one piece from the Harry Potter movie.  Hahaha!!!  But we really don't know if what part of the movie was it played!  All throughout the new set, I was glancing towards Frank checking if he is crying or maybe there is a sense of familiarity in the songs that the band played.  I'm afraid that he will cry again and I just don't know what to do…

Desford Brass Band

Frank is not the typical guy… he cries whenever he feels like crying.  Machismo is a taboo.  Maybe being old gives one an excuse to be emotional. Afterall, you no longer impress the oppositee sex.  But then again, strength is tied with respect and awe for another.  Strutting a weaker side like crying will surely have others give you a questioning stare.  But for the old man, my respect and wonder is intact.

Sheena, Frank, and I

‘Narinig ko sa UP’-lessons from the online ‘tambayan’

By Cate de Leon
Philippine Daily Inquirer

“OVERHEARD AT...” ONLINE groups are sprouting in the Internet, particularly for schools and universities. UP students created their own Overheard group on Facebook, with a Filipino title that aptly represents UP culture.

The group was started by Christian Rillera, a Political Science graduate of UP Diliman now taking up Law at Ateneo. Created last February 19, the group now has over 12,000 members.

From these “Overheard” groups, we see the unique character—and humor—of each university, sometimes so unique that outsiders can’t get the jokes.

But if you read closely, there are lessons to be learned from browsing through UP’s Overheard site.

Lesson 1. Survive

It is a must for students to acquire basic survival skills at UP. Like how to tell the jeepney driver to stop at one’s destination. This rather unfortunate girl couldn’t get down and missed her stop because she kept telling the driver: “Mama, stop!”

Lesson 2. No sleeping in class

A certain Asian Civilizations professor suddenly went “Shhhh...” mid-lecture and pointed at the students who were snoozing at the back. He gestured for the rest to quietly tiptoe out of the room—and then he dismissed the class.

Lesson 3. Believe in a God

No matter how liberal UP students may seem to be, they still need God. As a certain dormer’s to-do list put it:

English 12—Read photocopied readings!

Math 55—Homework

Humanities 1—Online conference with group mates.

Engineering Science 11—Pray!

A certain Philosophy professor was also quoted: “I’ve chosen to believe there is a God because it’s strategic. If it’s true that there is no God but I believe there is, nothing’s going to happen to me. But if I don’t believe and it just so happens there is a God, patay ako.”

Lesson 4. Study

Don’t be overly confident about your brains and abilities just because you go to one of the top universities. As one student said:

“In Math class, our professor had a frown as he distributed our exam papers, with most of us having failed the exams. One classmate rushed into class, late. He was wearing the famous ‘I think, therefore I am from UP’ T-shirt. Before he could sit, our professor walked up to him, handed him his failed exam and said: ‘Mr. ____, this is your exam. May I request you to go home and change your shirt? Lalong umiinit ang ulo ko!’”

Lesson 5. Be discreet

Never ever talk about your professors in public. The same goes for plans to cut class and all other manifestations of laziness.

Computer Science students were checking out who was assigned to handle one of their higher Math classes. One student started to pray out loud: “Sana hindi si _______! Sana hindi si ______!” as she checked the list of classes posted on the bulletin board. Then she shouted and cursed. When she then turned around, there was the professor before her, a huge grin on his face.

Also, there were these two classmates who saw each other from across the street. One was feeling lazy and told the other aloud that he had no plans of going to class that day, because the venue had been moved to a farther building on campus. He even tried to convince his classmate to cut classes as well, saying: “Wala ding papasok dun!”

Suddenly, from behind the lazy student came the professor’s voice: “Nandito kaya ako!?”

Christian, the site creator, also shared how he once got into a jeepney to get to his Math class and absently told his classmate: “Wala namang kwenta pumasok ng maaga eh, lagi namang late si Sir.”

When they got to the Math Building, he saw his professor alight from the same jeepney. Later in class, his professor went: “O ayan Mr. Rillera ha. Maaga ako ngayon. Baka kung anu-ano pa ang sabihin mo tungkol sa akin sa jeep.”

However, some professors are simply quotable, their pronouncements too good not to be repeated.

Prof. Solita Monsod, more popularly known as Mareng Winnie, began the first day of her Economics 11 class by saying: “Anyone who calls me Mareng Winnie in this class gets a 5.0.”

Then there was the student who told his professor, “Sir, ’yung buhok niyo po magulo.” The professor replied, “Bakit kay Edward Cullen pwede, sa prof niyo hindi?”

Another student was worried because he didn’t get his parents to sign what he needed for class. His professor said: “Bahala ka. Ikaw, i-forge mo. Basta ba hindi ka idedemanda ng nanay mo eh.”

Still another student was secretly reading manga in class when he realized his professor was right behind him. He nervously turned around, prepared to be reprimanded. Without taking his eyes off the monitor, his professor went: “Patay na pala si Jiraiya no? Kawawa naman.”

A clincher: A speech communication professor was wrapping up her discussion. “So class, let us refrain from being redundant whenever we speak.” She paused. “Ok?” She looked to the left. “Am I clear?” Then to the right. “Do you understand?”

Lesson 6. Know why you’re in school

No matter the fun and hilarious college life, we must all remember that our primary reason for going to school is to learn. As English 30 professor Rhodora Ancheta put it: “Don’t mind my arm fats jiggling when I write. Mind what I write!”

Ryan's Lessons may be Everyone's Lessons

I came across a <a/></href=>site</href> of how Ryan Seacrest has gone overboard with his duties as a host in the popular TV show American Idol and some tips of how he could keep his job.  I just thought of tweaking a little bit of it and make it applicable to work everyday.

1) Stick with your scope and limitations.  Don't go overboard unless someone allows you to go within their territories.

2. Let the master do their thing and learn from them. 

3. Let the contestants do the talking. Hang back, let them show their personalities more. God knows we needed that a lot more this season!

4. Talk but with sense.  It is ok to add you own inputs especially if they ask you for it.

5. Be a sheperd to the newbies.  There are a lot of newcomers and you know how it felt to be beginning so let them feel at ease. 

6. Make everyone and anyone comfortable. They are afterall, part of the team.

7. Be vulnerable. Do something dumb.  Who is the real you?  Don't afraid to show it.
8. Make jokes about yourself. Keep everyone else out of it.9. Don't hit on anyone or one person in particular.  That could be very obvious.  Even if you don't like a person, the very least that you could do is give him your respect.

10. Add some spice to your work life.  Bring in some surprises... They'll keep on guessing and expecting.

Election 2010

Cast your votes people... and vote wisely.


       My G1BO Twibbon

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers especially my Mama.  You give meaning to "Hot Momma!"  Thank you so much for all the love and support you have given me and my brothers.  We will be forever by your side!

Work Drama

Nagdradrama na naman ba ako?!?!

Napansin ko lang, this week parang di ako nageffort na kausapin si Frank.  It's getting worse and worse each day... Today, parang good morning and goodbye lang ata ang nasabi ko sa kanya... yong goodbye, di ko pa sinabi, nagwave lang ako... I don't laugh at his antics and I act as if di ko siya nakikita pagdumaan siya... tutok na tutok ako sa PC ko as if may ginagawa ako or talagang may ginagawa ako...Boss ko yun, dapat pa-good shot ako.  Hehehe!!!

Kaya lang, hindi ko naman kasi talaga ugali ang magpa-goodshot or give praises sa mga bosses para lang mapansin at umangat ako.  Todo effort ako sa work and I earned my position.  I work, not kiss ass.

If along the way, naging magkaibigan kami ng mga naging bosses ko it is because I was one of their good if not the best subordinates... Matigas paminsan-minsan ang ulo pero quality output naman ang delivery kaya di din ako napapagalitan.  Ang friendly relationship ko sa mga bossing ay built overtime not with the flattery words to fatten their ego.

Last day na bukas, kailangan ng pansinin si Frank.  Matampuhin pa man din un... hehehe!!!

Hindi sino, kundi kanino ang iboboto mo?

Hindi sino, kundi kanino ang iboboto mo?

ni Bob Ong

Sino ang Manok mo?

Meron kang dalawang uri ng boto: Ang una ay ang "boto ng konsensya". Ito ay para sa pinunong kinilatis mo, pinag-aralang maigi, pinaniniwalaan, at inaasahang may magagawa para sa bayan. Ang ikalawang uri ay ang "boto ng diskarte". Ito ay para sa kandidatong iboboto mo na lang para hindi manalo ang ayaw mo.

Para sa akin, mas matatanggap kong pamunuan ni Kiko Matsing ang bansa ko nang nagampanan ko nang tama ang tungkulin ko sa bayan bilang botante, kumpara sa makapagluklok ako ng ibang pinuno na resulta ng pagtalikod ko sa obligasyong bumoto nang tama. Dahil sa sandaling talikuran ko ang tama--sa ngalan ng diskarte--ay binibigyan ko na rin ng lisensya ang mga pinuno ng bayan ko na kumilos base sa diskarte, kapalit ng tama.

Ang boto ng konsensya ay base sa pag-asa. Ang boto ng diskarte ay base sa takot.

Ang bayan ng mga botante ng diskarte ay walang maaasahang pamunuan ng konsensya. Ang mga mamamayang kuntento na sa "pangalawang tama" ay mapagkakalooban ng pinunong ganoon din ang pamamalakad. Ang bansang hindi natututo, habambuhay na lang bibigyan ng leksyon.

Ini-endorso ko ang pagboto nang tama. Pwedeng matalo ang kandidato mo, pwedeng mangulelat. Pero mararamdaman mo lang ang kalayaan mo bilang tao at kapangyarihan mo bilang mamamayan sa Ika-sampu ng Mayo pagnasabi mo sa sarili mong "Napagkalooban ako ng karapatang pumili ng pinuno ng bayan ko, at nakaboto ako base sa sarili kong desisyon at ayon sa konsensya ko."

Kalapastanganan sa sariling dangal ang pagboto sa taong iba sa tunay mong pinaniniwalaan- -dahil man ito sa may tumutok ng baril sa ulo mo, may bumili ng iyong boto, o mag-isa pong piniling iboto na lang kung sinuman ang tingin mong mananalo.

Hindi nasasayang ang boto sa mga talunang kandidato. Nasasayang ito sa mga talunang botante.

Kung iboboto mo ang boto na ayon sa desisyon ng iba, sino pa ang boboto ng ayon sa desisyon mo?

--
Repost from the email I got.  I support Gibo Teodoro and I respect each Filipino's choice, that's why I never convince people to vote for my candidate if they have decided for their president.  May point eto.  Let's not sacrifice our votes for the lesser evil.  Let's practice our freedom to vote.  Let's embrace democracy. 

Cheap Deals Drown Me

Filipinos are drowned with seat sales from local and international airlines.  I could not keep up with it.  Cebu Pacific and Air Philippine Express have been competing with seat sales week after week.  While Philippine Airlines have celebrated their 70^th year giving more Filipinos a cheaper chance of having a "luxurious" ride.  Airasia.com have been posting their cheap flights from Clark to Malaysia as well.

I shouldn't be complaining.  And I think this is the unusual me as I have been a fan of seat sales and traveling on a tight budget.  I have enjoyed going home with just paying the travel tax as I have grabbed a zero fare of Cebu Pacific in 2008.  I have been going back and forth Manila-Bacolod with just less than a thousand.  I think seat sales are terrific as more Filipinos could go home to their families or more could wander the rest of the Philippines.  It is also an opportunity to discover the rest of the world.  I was thrilled when we (with my girls, Ji, Kat and Icile) booked tickets through Cebu Pacific for Macau and Hongkong.  I think we spend hours facing the Cebu Pacific website with phones on hand discussing the right IT.  And more excitement did my mother and brother felt when we went to Singapore through Cebu Pacific seat sale.

And now while most of my long weekends are booked and seat sales are still overflowing it made me feel depressed that weekends are no longer enough to accommodate such cheap deals.  What is more depressing is when homesickness hits you just when seats available are not the usual cheap fare.  If just for this yearning, I want to go home for good or for vacation.. whatever option is available... and seat sales doesn't help at all.

Earth Day

Let's do something for the earth.


Support Earth Day!

Pitiful Sight

Last night, I came home late due to work and piled deliverables for today.  So when I came home, there was no available pet store that could sell me Aurora's food.  His last meal was yesterday morning and since she only eats twice daily I was not worried that she'll go hungry.  I meant to buy her food after work and would be just in time for her next meal.  But unfortunately, activities as scheduled are not followed..

Seeing the hungriness in her eyes, I thought of giving Auring just anything to eat. So I raided my cluttered fridge and saw the week old biscocho and got a piece and gave it to her.  Good thing she likes it but had a hard time eating one...it took her 15 minutes to just finish a stick.  And I'm just wondering why they could handle a hard bone while a relatively soft biscocho is such a nightmare. 

Aurora had about 3 pieces last night and hopefully later, she'll get to eat her real food.  I'll surely pour two servings worth of dog food just to show her how badly I feel seeing her eating a biscocho... such a pitiful sight.

Aurora with her Dinner

Aurora having a hard time with Biscocho

Stagnation

There comes a point in life when you stagnate.  You stopped. Not because you want to but you have to.

Schemer

Two weeks ago, I have realized that someone is coming into the house while I was gone.  I was out and about during the holy week and I was out again last weekend when I came home.  Good thing for history in google chrome I have confirmed my suspicions.  It was logged that while I was away, someone is using our computer and the internet.

I have told my brother about it and truth behold, Niel his friend was coming into the house... but Niel has been helping us out with Aurora especially when we're away so I really do not mind... but the thing that's bothering me is, he wasn't telling me anything and our electricity bill is still rocket high. And he is devouring our food supply... if that's the case, he is close to being a theft and that starts there... I don't know what else is he taking from the house.

I have been thinking of cutting the power supply for the whole house.  The power supply box is in my room and I'm thinking of closing the room as well... but I'm worrying about the refrigerator and its contents.  So today, I have thought of putting off the internet connection by removing the modem.  Because I thought that Niel comes into the house because of that. I texted my brother that the modem is not working and I have to get it to Globe today just to send the message to Niel.

I know I am bad and selfish but really, I need to cut on my electricity expense.  

My Photography Story

I love pictures.  Taking them and being in them. 

I have invested in my gears although it was surely a pain in my pocket. The first camera I have owned was a hand me down from my mother.  It was a 35mm film camera.  The camera was enjoyable of course and there is that thrill in waiting for the pictures when I have them processed.  But that is the problem with film, you won't have the luxury of shooting anything and everything because you have to maximize the limited shots that you have bought.  And of course, you have to allocate money for developing the film.

During college, I bought my first digital camera with my money from doing research work.  I was so happy and excited I always brought it along with me.  It was a dream come true as I now have the freedom of clicking the day away not worrying of wasted money because I could instantly delete, or edit a bad picture.  But two months after I bought my camera, I found myself gearless.  My bag got slashed and my camera was down the drain.

I have acquired another handy point and shoot when I turned one at work.  It was one of my proudest buy at ebay not to mention the patience I have mustered to keep my savings intact and spare a little for necessities before acquiring one. The P&S documented my travels, occasions and gatherings.  It served its purpose and I enjoyed it a single bit.

The onset of DSLRs and professional photography craze turned me into a loon when I bought my Nikon D3000.  Frustration after frustrations have I encountered with this monster.  Five months have come yet I am not able to master let alone tame it.  Although there are some good shots but I still could not get a hang of it.  Yet I am not giving up.  I will be one great photographer one day..

wannabe photographer

So now with the P&S passed on to my brother, and I'm relying on instinct with the big pro-toy, millions of photos are stacked and wasting away my computer disk space.  I have used some photos in my travel blog but just the best usable ones, the rest are saved in my multiply for safe keeping. I'm wondering, how else could I make use of photography.  How could I make money from it?

Anyone?

Permission Denied

My mind is in a scatter.  Rebelliously chaotic. 

It has been one year since I got this post.  I feel like I'm long overdue.  I know the ropes of my job. It is sometimes too routinary. This is too automatic. I have been rated and I have exceeded beyond my boss' expectations.   I am bored. I need to go and step up my game.

People have realized that I am due to go.  Just before the previous year ended, Tom had been hinting that I go in any of his departments.  Last year he was convincing me to join the new R&D team.  But talks with Frank with HR has decided I am not ready for release.  Frank is suggesting that I stay with him but also work with Environmental Planning and Sustainability in one of its projects. So I stayed and handled a new reponsibility.

Second week of January, Frank called me into his office, told me that my name came up in the presentation of Lala, Department Manager of Program Management.  I was eyed to become a Project Development Officer.  I said no bluntly... This time around, I know that I don't want to join Progman... the work is challenging and I admit, I would just sink into danger zone if I would pursue such carreer considering that I have to go to school.  Frank agreed.

After so many realignment, Safety Solutions became my suitor as they need somebody to handle their Safety Programs.  A lot of talks with Dexter and Tom has happened to convince me.  I was considering yet worried of two things: my background is so far away from Safety and it would take too many ropes to untangle before I could find myself doing the act and I would be off track with the degree I am pursuing, I would eventually putting all my graduate school to waste.  I mean Envirronmental Engineering is totally not connected with Corporate Safety.

So I decided to talk with Frank.  Not to ask his permission but to enlight me with my dilemma.  Afterall, the old man has a lot of wisdom in his sleeve.  The offer is attractive really.  It would be a promotion (I am due in June as per schedule), as the position is for an Associate Manager.  But setting the money aside, being a Corporate Safety Officer is notch up in the Corporate Ladder.  And the training will be beneficial if and if I would leave the company... I have been visiting many job sites lately and I have seen plenty of opportunities for Safety Officers.

But even before I have talked with Frank, Tom had set foot in Frank's office and asked if he could release me and be transferred to Safety... and when he got out, he told me and Dexter that Frank does not want to release me...

Argh!!! So now what?!?! I'll be stuck here forever?  I'm rotting here!

Cookin'

I'm doing a project something I finally love and enjoy... Not that blogging does not suffice, but this time around I intend to make use of some artistic genes.  I'm still starting the thing and I haven't measured how good I will be... let's just wait for a few months...

I've been going out and about with my camera... clicking and coming up with something nice... frustrating sometimes cause in a 100 or so pictures I would only get less than 10 pictures usable.. yikes.. that's 10% efficiency..  boohoo!

But I'm enjoying this so far.. and hopefully I could reap something.

I Commit to Earth Hour

One Year Lapsed

A year ago, I walked into Operations to start my job as Frank's Technical assistant.  I was eager, vibrant and as Ate Frae put it in her Facebook post, I was the Miss I Can Do It. And now a year has passed, I learned a few things or two about each departments, have known the ropes of my job and is as bored to hell because of the routines.  I could easily plot my stress levels on ordinary months where Frank has no speaking engagements.

Now I am at a crossroads as to where I should go and where I should be.  As more departments are opening its doors, I am at a dilemma as to where I could grow the most.

Where did that smile go?

Just last night, I decided to browse through my piles of photos in my PC.  I braved to see myself 2 -3 years ago and I saw that girl smiling back at every picture and her eyes smiling as well. I saw genuine happiness.

Comparing my pictures then with my pictures now, I am afraid to conclude that I am much happier before.  What has become of me in just 2 or 3 years? 

So I'm telling myself:
Laugh... laugh loud... laugh till you couldn't breath.
And surround yourself with friends who make you laugh.

Because there are a lot of reasons to be HAPPY.

Bitching

Once again, I am a bitch.

For the past month since I went back here in Manila, I am not totally myself.  There seems to be a cloud hovering.  I shut out people even my boss whom last year I could talk to about anything.  Now, seldom do I go to my boss to talk about anything and everything.  Even if he's just a few steps away, a day would pass by with just greetings in the morning and goodbyes in the afternoon.  I even say no to all the free treats that they are buying us.  I don't want to get spoiled.  I don't want to miss all the fun.  I know in one way or another, this will all end and I don't want to find myself looking for it.

Is this because of the secrets I am keeping to myself.  I have pending vacations that I have to miss work intentionally.  I am thinking of alibis to tell so that I could miss a day off work and that keeps me away.

Or is it because I am afraid of investing in relationships because I know one day, he will retire and go or I will leave the company when Masters is all done.  People are constantly moving in and out of the company and it is always too hard to say goodbye.

Or is it because I always find myself competing, like I am some kind of a jealous green-eyed monster.  As always, whenever I enter into a position, wether it be an organization, work, or school, I find myself competing with no one but the past performance of my predecessors.  And it will always be hard to compete with someone who is no longer in the game.  And again, I feel that.  I feel like I am always have to be on top of my game afraid that I have not attained the level of standard they have silently set on me..  Sad thing, I don't have numbers to prove how good I am.  In school, I am given grades.  My performance in previous work is dictated by numbers. But now, I don't even know how I fair. 

My "jealousy" is causing me paranoia and I have to teach myself to quit on it.

My Excuse

Everything has gone dry.  I have a lot of pending things to write about.. but all I do is just prolong, procastinate and wait for the inspiration that is never gonna come.  The urge for writing is no longer there.  I need a breather.  

Perks with Sugartown

I have lived in our Manila home for almost 4 years already.  During my last year in college, when all of my barkada at the dorm graduated, I decided to venture out on my own.  Ellainne and I started to live in the extension area of the house while the rest of it was being rented out.  Then Mel came to Manila for college.  Since the space we are occupying at the back is only good for 2 persons, I requested Ellainne to move out.

We grabbed the opportunity to transfer in the main house and occupy the whole of it when our tenant was ejected by my mother.  We are actually suffering with our expenses (which is divided between the two houses fairly but we are outnumbered in terms of heads and appliances).

After so many troubles, i began to realize how lucky we are at Sugartown.  During Typhoon Ondoy, we felt nothing except the loss of power and water.  No floods threatened our place.  And just today, while I was on my way home, while the rest of Batasan is suffering a black out, we at Sugartown have all our lights on...

So maybe, we are lucky to be here...it may be small, not extravagant, yet we are safe and the utilities are reliable... : )

Expenses Overload

I have tried to save and and limit my expenses.  With the upcoming trips, I have to.... but bills have come flowing endlessly.  I have also tried limiting my wants but I still end up craving.

There are a lot of plays coming up and I still want to enjoy them.  The problem is I don't have the means anymore...  Sacrifice... or not...

(Sighs)

Tomorrow I'm coming back to the life that I am trying to escape.  Tomorrow, I am back in crazy old Manila to and try to live.  I'm so tired or maybe, I'm so bored.  I want something new.  I want to find my niche.  Or I just want to come back home.  I just want to get out of my life...

So many plans, I just don't know how to do about it.  But I have to start somewhere.

Missing

I haven't gone to work still.  Intentionally, I have gone absent.  I'm still here at the province idling.  And I have not have a slightest urgency to go back.  Not that I don't have any responsibilities there or this is the effect of the holidays.  Or maybe I really don't want to go back.  If only work is available here, I want to stay here and be with my family...

Manila, as I always say, is a tiring mess.  And I want to escape from it.  But I don't have a destination yet.

2009, the Year of Opportunities

As a tradition, I am writing my last blog for the year.

2009 was good and had a lot of doors opened.

Career had a spin when I said goodbye to Taguig and got tranfered to the main office.  I had the opportunity to work with the top men and women of the company as I ventured as a Technical Assistant to the Operations Group Director.  My new bosses, Frank and Tom, were a crazy duo but I have learned and have grown a lot from them.  Along with that I am working with the rest of 300+ employees of Operations group.

The batch have remained strong and finished the bond.  The 29 of us has succeeded to finally cross the finish line of the 2-year bond.  Freedom finally came to us last December 11.  And I don't know who will be first out of the doors of Manila Water.  Time would only tell.  However, each of us had build our own lives in the company, busy lives that is that we could no longer have time to even meet up.  Had almost 3 get-togethers for the holidays but the batch never was complete.

2009 was a second chance for me as I succeeded to enter the Environmental Engineering Program of UP.  Finally, I am fulfilling my dreams to take up Masters and in the beloved Alma Mater.  What more can I say.  It was a tough first semester but got through it alive.

There are a lot of trials that has strengthen me.  With Mel getting sick last year, it was tremendously hard to juggle work, school and responsibilities.  But I learned that family will be there, always. And Pa left us last April. And that's it for now.

The house at QC was in renovation at the end of the year.  Aside from that, purchases have been a lot but mostly on air tickets going home and for next year's travels.  Also, I have acquired a Nikon D3000 which is until now has caused me banrkrupt.  But then, I love the camera.

I look forward to the Tiger.  Hope it would be a fierce 2010 for me and the family.  Thanks to all who made 2009 special. :)

Dorky Dress Up

So far, I got two hits in a row.  I didn't wear my uniform today and had worn my floral brown-orange blouse.  Before leaving the house, I have checked myself in the mirror and thought  that I look ok, more than ever I feel good about myself.…

When I came in today, a very good friend of mine, Jayce commeted on my blouses, calling it 70s because of the floral design.  I just smiled and though it was a compliment.  And just 5 minutes ago a good friend and a senior cadet, Ma'am Salve, asked me if I am a member of Opus Dei.  After I'm telling her that I'm not one of them, she told me, cautiously (asking me not to beangry or offended), that I have to do away from the flowers.  She told me that if I wouldn't want to end up an old maid, I should dress up sophisticatedly.

Ok, I guess I oftentimes dress up in dorky clothes.  But I am comfortable with them.  And I loved these clothes in one point of their useful life.  Or maybe it is how I carry my blouse today.  Maybe I am not as confident or just as carefree in it..But whatever reason I don't look good in them, I am not offended nor angry about the comments because hearing them will only bring out the best in me.

Hodgepodge on the Holidays

One by one, each responsibility is coming into an end.  As the day of coming home is nearing, I am as excited to see each of my tasks finish.  

Class for my Solid Waste Management class ended last night while my old nutty professor for my Engineering Science subject got lazy and declared the whole week without class thus moving everything off scheduled.

Yesterday I was up on my toes running and getting things done because everything was chaos.  With lot of deadlines for school and work, I told a friend that I could not feel Christmas because the load seems to be heavier than ever.

But just today, I am again as eager to go home for Christmas.  Two more pending work and I would be done.  

Today is the last Man Com Meeting for Operations.  A lot of goodbyes have been said to those leaving the company at the end of the year and hellos too as some people will go on board the mini-ship of Operations Group.  Frank as always was very perky and naughty, maybe because of the season or just the fact that he's going back to his family in United Kindgom.  

As for me, I will still be having reunions with friends and colleagues before going home.  And another batch of parties at home awaits me...Looking forward to a great Christmas this year. =)

Chaos turning into Harmony

For the past few days I have been ranting about death and life in its metaphoric meaning.  Not that I am being suicidal or gory, but my rants are just my daily accounts of my frustrations, angst, even joys for the whole week of which my life has been chaotic.  The demands of my two subjects week after week plus the responsibilities with work has been keeping me up and running for the whole entirety until maybe school ends or I quit work (which is not until I am of age 60 or 65).

Finally, exams are over and my hell week is coming to an end. 

Good thing about this is I'm looking forward to a vacation.  I'm going home for the holidays and will be extending about 4 days more since Frank is coming back late too.  I look forward to seeing my family and my friends.  I am excited about celebrating Christmas and New Year and of course a lot of birthdays: Mom's, my friends', and mine!  I long for the planned roadtrip to Antique and the photoshoot sessions with abyans and sisses. I look forward to reunions although I am planning to miss the family reunion and Silak-Silab's too (which is sadly is during my birthday).  And above all, I look forward to the rest just before I would battle it out again... And 1st day of battle is the day I get back to Manila as I have again exams for my advanced engineering math on the very same day.

I'm still taking it a day at a time but when it comes to holidays, vacations and celebrations, my excitement gets me planning. :)

Live Each Day One at a Time

For the whole week, I die and live one day at a time.  I come to work and go home like a walking zombie, my heart not feeling, my mind not thinking.  As trips to home and back are my only consolation for idleness. Each day has its equivalent deadline for a presentation, a report, a homework or an exam, I am required to go to hell while going about it and back again to live after it is done and is successful.  A so-so output is not an issue nor an option as work is only good or bad and school is only pass or fail.

Sleepless nights, unenjoyable get-togethers (I do not blame it on company, just blaming it on a lot of things in mind), overtime work unpaid, all adds up to the stress that is named work and school.

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm no longer worrying or getting overwhelmed with the load that I'm carrying.  The old me would be on top of my toes getting worried and overwhelmed with the tons then would kick butts even mine to get things done.  I even prepare for things way way ahead of time.  I'm not pushing myself now.  I just do what I got to do.  And I just make sure that I'm doing the best I can.

Tomorrow is the temporary culmination of the many trips to hell and back.  I look forward to the day that everything is back to normal.  But what is normal now?

Tonight, I went home excited knowing that I have an internet connection again.  For 2 weeks, I have been in a dilemma as to whether I would go back to wired connection and have a monthly bill of almost a thousand.  I was contemplating of getting a thumbstick internet but the rates for prepaid is more expensive knowing that I am a frequent internet visitor and I am sharing the same passion with my brother.  A postpaid for a mobile internet is out of the question too.

I live way up in the north.  And it is always a problem for coverage for companies like PLDT and or Bayantel.

I was then convinced to get an internet connection from colleagues at work, and have recommended Globe since   I was using my phone as modem for awhile.  Not that we are Ayala loyalists but then it would be a safer deal because I am sure of a good signal here at home.

So I had applied last Friday, got a call from an agent verifying details so they could forward my application to the service crew.  And early morning, I got a call from the service team inquiring if I am at my place so they could install my internet.  I am in a dilemma because I go to work 8-5pm and my brother has class the whole day as well.  Good thing my cousin is around so she accommodated the service team.

And now, as I write this, I am enjoying a very fast Globe internet connection.  Fast service, good customer service, and uber supreme internet speed.

Clutter Face

I came in late for work today. It is not major unusual because everyday I come to work late, about 5-20 minutes late. But what made me so disappointing today is that I have come in an hour more late than usual. And I missed the mass held at the Manila Water lobby because of my tardiness.

So to avoid being seen, I went around and at the back to get to our floor. But so much of the plan of not being seen, Frank and Tom were at Tom's cubicle which is just diagonally opposite mine. So the two guys saw me in at 9:something AM. And while moving my way towards my cubicle, I know to myself how harrassed looking I am. I could just imagine my hair uncombed and rowdy, my uniform needed a run by the iron, I'm in my house slippers, my shoulders are down and I have that guilty and worrying face. I just could imagine what my bosses are seeing, surely a total big mess.

Both of them came to my table and was worried as well, asking my what happened to me. I said I am ok. Because really, I am ok. I am just plain late. But they don't want to hear of me unless I would tell them somekind of a problem, reason for my cluttering self. But the truth is, I was just as late as can ever be so I kept it to myself than telling a 'lie.'

And even in the afternoon, Frank was pestering me asking me what really happened in the morning. How about a chismoso for a boss.  He calls it concerned though.

So tomorrow, I'll avoid the look or just be plain late.

Pasig River Cruise

Ever since I was assigned to the Taguig for work, I would often see the Pasig River as we go from Taguig to Makati.  On the way to work, I would often pass by the Guadalupe Station of the ferries that cruise along the Pasig River. The Paisg River has been the main thorough fare of Manila .  It is like the EDSA during the colonial era and has played a glorious role in history. But today Pasig River has become a catch basin for all the solid and water waste of the Metro.

To relive the golden days of the Pasig River, Icile and I took the ferry at the Guadalupe and shoot the afternoon away.  The fare is relatively cheap at 45Php for Guadalupe to Escolta Station.  And surprisingly, we didn't smell any stench as we ride along the Pasig River. Not only that you avoid the traffic but you got to see Manila at a different view.

Another boat passing through

Oil Depots along the River Pasig

The Post Office

(Jaime Cardinal) Sin Village

Our Stop: Escolta Station

It is a fantastic experience to see Manila in a new perspective.

Dead

Cause of Death:  Drowning

I am super dead.  I am overloaded with deadlines..  And I don't know how I would go about it.  I am so dead.

But why am i blogging?!?!?!  I have to get back to work.

Temporary Solution

Last night, I have the chance to feed my addiction. Got to borrow a Smart Bro thumbstick and was able to surf the night away.  It was not as comfortable as it is with the unlimited internet usage because I was always checking the time and convert my time usage into money -- my expense.  Although the lending officemate tells me it is ok to use up his credits, I still have some decency to limit my usage.  So today, while I am handing him the thumbstick, I hand him also my thank you money.

I have to have a connection.  And I will get a new connection... and pray that we will have it ASAP. Add to that, I will get my money's worth.

Clean but Addicted

My brother and I are having withdrawal syndrome. It is no ordinary addiction although like any other vice, it involves money. For days we are in distress, craving for it, wanting it badly. Yet we are clean and sober.

For 2 whole weeks, we are suffering from internet withdrawal syndrome. After our internet went zilch because of unknown reason, we became desperate walking loons. Been trying to contact all internet offering companies and looking for options that are available and cheap or just plain practical at that. And until now we are still in queue for a slot for a DSL connection. Although I have a connection at the office, it is very limited. The only sites available are work related sites. No facebook (and Farmville), no plurk, no blogs, no multiply, no friendster, no sites that I have been enjoying for years. And all the more that I am craving for it.

Tomorrow, I will shamelessly borrow from a colleague a Smart Thumbstick internet and test if it is working at our domain. With our area that is mountainous and high, I just hope we could get a good signal.

I have to put an end to my distress. Need to give in to my addictions.

Idling

I have a lot of studying to do. I have tons of assignments and exams are coming up…yet here I am idling, procrastinating. Had nothing done over the long weekend except for a photowalk, reruns of grey’s anatomy. I did some little studying but haven’t gone through everything really. I really a pain to myself. Would love to do some cramming and kill myself with stress.

I hate this attitude. I need to lose it if I want to survive.

The Oblation

The Oblation at UP Diliman

To any alumni of the University of the Philippines in any campus in the country, the Oblation is one symbol, one could get attached or identify himself with the Alma Mater.  The nakedness of the man speaks about symbolic sacrifice to the country and the whole of humanity.  Aside from nationalism and patriotism, it speaks about freedom of expression, a characteristic evident in each campus through fashion, self expression, the arts, etc. and even in protest actions. 

1) The Oblation at UP Visayas Miag-ao Campus 2) The Oblation at UP Visayas Iloilo Campus

A masterpiece of the great sculptor, Guillermo Tolentino, The Oblation was commissioned by the first President of the University of the Philippines, President Rafael Palma.  Palma ordered to translate the second stanza of Jose Rizal's "Mi Ultimo Adios" or "Last Farewell" into a monument which has now become the landmark of any University of the Philippines Campus.

Rizal's "Last Farewell", Second Stanza

*Spanish (original)*

En campos de batalla,
luchando con delirio,
Otros te dan sus vidas,
sin duda, sin pesar,
El sitio nada importa:
cipres, laurel o lirio,
Cadalso o campo abierto,
combate o cruel martirio,
Lo mismo es si lo piden
la patria y el hogar.
- Jose Rizal

*English*

In barricades imbattled;
fighting with delirium,
others donate you their lives
without doubts, without gloom,
The site doesn't matter;
cypress, laurel or lily;
gibbet or open field,
combat or cruel martyrdom,
are equal if demanded
by country and home.
- /Translated by Nick Joaquin/ -

The Oblation at UP Los Baños

"The completely nude figure of a young man with outstretched arms and open hands, with tilted head, closed eyes and parted lips murmuring a prayer, with breast forward in the act of offering himself, is my interpretation of that sublime stanza."

Above is the exact word's of Tolentino regarding his masterpiece.  Originally, the figure was purely nude.  The fig leaf or the katakataka leaf was added upon the suggestion of President Jorge Bocobo. Katakataka plants, which grows anywhere with any part of it, symbolizes how deeprooted patriotism should be, similar to our heroes. The height of the statue is 3.5 m representing the 350 years of Spanish reign.

The original oblation is now located in the 3^rd Floor of the University Library in UP Diliman.

UP Techno Hub

UP – Ayala Techno Park is the lovechild of the partnership of the University of the Philippines, the country's prestigious state university and Ayala Corporation, one of the biggest business conglomerate..  It is an economic, technology and information zone for related businesses. Located in one of the former idle property of the university, UP-Ayala Technopark is now a house to BPO companies like Convergy's, HSBC and IBM. It is also a spot for students from UP, and nearby campuses like Ateneo and Mirriam, as they unwind for coffee at Starbucks, Figaro and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf or fill their hungry stomachs with food from KFC, Razon's, Seafood Island, Reyes Barbeque, Mr. Kebab, The Old Spaghetti House, Kanin Club, Yellow Cab, Pizza Hut, Flap Jacks, and Le Ching among others.  A branch National Bookstore, Bench Fix Salon, a Mac Store, Timezone and Mini Stop,  is also visible.

It is situated in Barangay UP Campus near Philcoa in Quezon City, along Commonwealth Avenue.

-o-

After going around UP, Icile and I decided to hit UP Ayala Technohub to practice more night photography.  Likewise, we decided to fill our hungry stomachs with what they could offer.

Cancellation Blues

I spent the afternoon at UP... now I have sore feet for walking around in heels.

I have to cancel my seminar class because it was intended for those having their thesis. Cancelling it was supposedly easy. I only have to have 3 people's signature before going to the registration's office.

But of the many things that would happen, I get the three copies of the form to be signed in disarray. The two bottom copies were similar to a thermal paper, that if disarrange, the mark will not be seen in the other paper. So after going all through the procedures, it was later realized by the personnel from the graduate office that one of the forms have no 3 signatures. So I would repeat the whole thing going back to the people for their most precious marks. I surely gave myself a hard time. And what was more embarrassing was that I have a classmate with me who has to deal with it too... tsk tsk!!! I surely was a pain today...

But we finished today...and will be working on getting our P1500 refund.

Small World

I bumped into an old friend today. Which was so surprising and turned into an awkward circumstance. Of course, the usual me would play it cool as if it was a natural occurrence. Good thing I was with a classmate who happens to be a friend and ex-colleague of his, at least I am allowed to do small talks..hmmm.. Small world right???


P.S. It's the person who googled his name and found it in my blog.

Finally Gave in

I finally have acquired my new baby!



And now I declare myself bankrupt.

Handuraw Pizza

After Kat's persistence, I was convinced to check out her new found spot at Katipunan:  the Handuraw Pizza.

For first timers it is hard to find the place since it is not visible from the Katipunan Road.  Surely, its customers have known its existence due to word of mouth and how great their thin crust pizzas are.  The place is shared with XBX Interactive and has only about 6 tables to fill.

XBX interactive as its housemate

Kat and I ordered Mozarella Triangles as appetizers.  It is madeof crust triangles filled with mozarella cheese. Some of it were hallow though.  Also we add in our table a bucket of iced tea which is too sweet so we requested additional water to unsaturate its sweetness.

Mozarella Triangles

If you would think that their food is mediocre based on my previous paragraph, stay for long for their thin crust pizza will surprise you.   To maximize our money, we thought of having two flavors of pizzas in one pan. We had Handuraw Special loaded with pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, bacon, mushroom, olives, onions, green bell peppers, fresh tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese on their homemade tomato sauce and in the other half, we got Meatlovers which is topped with pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, onions, and mozzarella cheese.  It was magnificent at 298Php. Because it is thin crust, you would get to taste the soulful blend of its generous toppings. You will surely be transported to pizza heaven...It was really a superb experience!

2 Pizzas in One Pan: Meatlovers and Handuraw Special

Handuraw could be found at:

XBX Interactive, 2F Burgundy Place, Katipunan Avenue, Loyola Heights, Quezon City

Tel. No. (02) 435-4361.

Their original place is at Cebu with 2 branches:

Gorordo Avenue, Lahug, Cebu City

Tel. No. (032) 232-6401

One Mango, Gen. Maxilom (Mango) Avenue, Cebu City

Tel. No. (032) 416-3200